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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL is morbidly obese, so this fact colors my reaction to her ever-present habit of giving my children whatever food/sugar they ask for. She is incapable (or just plain won't) of saying no to them for any request. She brings candy with her to visit, she has it at her house, she has cake and ice cream for desserts, and if they ask for more and more and more, she gives it to them. It drives me insane and I've become pretty tactless about how I handle it. I am very vocal about them not having any more sugar for the day, saying oh, we can't have a treat after lunch because we are having pie after dinner, no you cannot have candy before you have your birthday cake and ice cream, etc. I caught her giving my kids gummie bears this morning at 730 am, sneaking it of course, because she knows I'd be mad. I don't want to freak about this stuff because in the grand scheme of things, it's minor, and I know this. We see her at most once a month, but it's usually 1 time every 2 or 3 months. How do you all handle this? I'm pretty sure I just need to let it go, but it makes me so mad. This is exactly why her children (including my husband) have weight issues, and why she's so obese to the point that she has mobility issues. Help me gain perspective here.
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I can help.  You have to work on your kids, not grandma.  OP, think it through.  She is totally unfixable.  Don't waste your energy.
I don't care how young your kids are (unless, really super-young), if they can talk, then you can teach them.  But you don't want to set up a situation where they are going against grandma to her face. Depending on your kids' ages, you can (if young) have them accept it, thank grandma, and bring it to you.  Etc.
If they are older, discuss grandma's health and obesity.  Time to be judgmental, OP.  Just throw her under the bus and explain the situation.

My mom is this way with the sweets.
My FIL drinks too much, and when visits, the alcohol is proudly displayed.

I've found that being honest with my kids, being "judgmental" in articulating our family values, helps much more than trying to work with the grandparent, or worse, trying to get my DH to work on his father (which is a recipe for spousal fighting)[/quote]

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