Reply to How Do You Parent When You Had Bad Parents?

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Reply to "How Do You Parent When You Had Bad Parents?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Lots of good practical ideas here. The first step is awareness. The worst parents aren't really aware of their flaws and the effects their own upbringing had on who they are and how they parent.

I have a good memory, and I can remember at every age what I wanted and how I felt as a child, and the ways my parents did things right or wrong. I use that to consider what my kids need and want from me at any phase of their life.

It sounds like your kids currently might need you to hover less over their schoolwork, and let them know you love and accept them as they are, and that you trust they are competent to handle their schoolwork and that they'll come to you when they need to. This is an important message to give our kids.

Use the time and energy you would have spent sitting with them during homework to do more fun and relaxing things with them. And forgive yourself for any failings, because we're all muddling through trying to parent. It's a good example for your kids to see how to forgive and love and accept ourselves and each other. [/quote]

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