Reply to What obligation do I have to cook for and tolerate my vegan MIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're under no obligation to do anything, but it's generally nice to accommodate your guests.  I think you had another post about this in "Expectant Moms" forum.

[b]TBH, this is an issue between you and DH to resolve.  [/b]Then he can deal with his mother.  You're not going to do yourself any favors by dealing directly with your MIL on this if you can avoid it.  But if your DH won't step up, then I think you need to simply put your foot down and refuse visits from MIL until you can find a manageable way for her to visit.  It's actually easier to say, "no visits" than it is to resolve details of how the visit will go.  My ILs are much nicer than yours, but after a particularly difficult one last year I told DH "no visits" unless he took some time off while they were in town to entertain them (they won't drive while here).  They are here right now, and DH did take time off during their visit.  The visit has been very pleasant as a result.[/quote]

Listen to this PP.  If you and DH can come to an agreement, I think it will be a lot easier.  The way you described his behavior in the expectant moms thread make me think that he/you guys need some counseling.  I can see his issues with pleasing her manifesting themselves in other ways.

Were I you, I would talk with him about spacing out all the visits so you have more time to regroup as a family.  For visits with his mother specifically, I would say that you're no longer shopping for her, period.  He and she can go grocery shopping when she arrives, and if that can't happen the first day, you can get take out she likes.

But I would say that your MIL's dietary choices and basically anything else to do with her is all on your DH. Disappear for awhile to do something for yourself when she visits. Create some space between you.

And when she dives in on her passive aggressive BS comments, just smile and say, "Isn't it great how everyone can do what works for them?" and "It's funny how there are so many ways to raise a healthy child."[/quote]

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