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[quote=Anonymous]I have an infant. My out of town MIL is coming to visit us frequently now to see baby--every 2 to 3 months. DH and I eat healthfully and we eat meat, but my MIL is an extreme vegan and she is very picky. She prefers everything to be organic and generally doesn't eat white flour. The only restaurant food she will eat is Lebanese, Ethiopian, Indian, or Thai. Fast food, pizza, Mexica, etc. or any other restaurants are completely out of the question.

Here's a few examples of her pickiness. She won't eat peanut butter, so we have to get organic almond butter. She won't eat bread unless it's 100% whole wheat. Pasta has to be whole grain and rice has to be brown. She won't eat nuts unless they are raw and unsalted. She won't eat any sweets or chocolate unless they are vegan and organic. She also doesn't drink wine or coffee. She had cancer years ago and believes meat caused her to have cancer, and is constantly talking about how we "don't eat the way she does" which basically makes me feel completely judged. She stares at me when I eat M&Ms, Diet Coke, turkey bacon, eggs, chips, or any other foods she thinks are "bad"--even though I'm thin. Baby has begun eating solids and I give her organic baby food in a jar because I work full time and don't care to make my own baby food, then she takes the opportunity to share how she used to make organic baby food for DH from scratch and how easy it was. She also loves to remind us how many years she breastfed her kids and how she stayed home when they were little, when I work fulltime and have told DH I am ready to slow down BFing and supplement with formula, which he doesn't want us to do. It all feels very passive aggressive.

When she comes to stay DH and I end up cooking completely differently from what we normally eat to accommodate her diet, which makes her smug as though she has "won." I hate it but it's twice as much work to cook our own normal dishes on top of a dish for her. We've asked her to cook for us but she gets flustered and upset. One day she went to the store to get ingredients for a tofu stir fry and refused to buy teriyaki sauce because they didn't have her favorite organic brand, and refused to use our non-organic teriyaki sauce or soy sauce as a replacement. Another time she tried to make pumpkin bread but refused to use my canola oil and ended up putting olive oil in the loaf instead and it was awful. So we stopped asking he to cook. Her visits are now causing lots of conflict about food between DH and I. Furthermore, I used to have an eating disorder so her perceived judgement about what I'm eating while I nurse, whether intentional or not, really angers me.

What obligation do we have to provide her with her special food when she visits? How much of this do I have to take? [/quote]

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