Reply to How Do You Parent When You Had Bad Parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two kids that are in the tween/young teen age group and as they get older I find myself doubting my parenting ability more and more.

My parents separated at the same age as my oldest is now and I haven't spoken to my mom since then.  I grew up with my dad but can barely stand to be in the same room as him.  Both of my parents are highly, highly self-centered.  I had a lot of insecurities growing up. A reoccurring dream that I had as a young child was that a monster was trying to eat me and my parents just stood back and laughed.

People who know me well, tell me that to compensate for my lack of parenting that I try to be supermom.  However my supermom skills are "generally" limited to working with my kids to ensure they have the best education. They are relatively successful there. I work full time and long hours as well and feel like lots of things fall in the cracks.

My biggest concerns as a parent is that I'm parenting all wrong and that I'm a narcissistic parent too.  It's just that my narcissism is about making sure my kids do  well in school.  In my head, the reason that I'm so focused on education is that I had so much insecurity growing up that I feel like ensuring that my kids have a great education is the best way to help  give them the best possible future.
I worry though that I'm not always meeting my kids other needs. I'm a horrible cook eg and both my children are extremely picky.  I also worry that because I sit with my kids so much to help study for tests that they aren't developing the independence that they need....basically my life is work, helping my kids with homework and housework.  I also feel like maybe I'm not as emotionally available for my kids as I should be because I'm always exhausted.

I'm not looking for sympathy for my upbringing because whatever happened is done.  I'm only bringing it up so that you can understand sources of why I feel the way I do .

I just want to figure out how to be a better parent so they don't end up with the same issues..Thanks in advance!
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