Reply to Should I stay in the marriage or should I divorce him?

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[quote=Anonymous]
Meh, I'd stay in the marriage and live a single woman's life. Leave that man be. Let him hang himself and feel the loneliness and contempt that is coming his way.

You say you take care of yourself? Well, notch that up a bit. Decorate your room and you like it. Get your hair done more frequently. Pilates, pilates, and barre. Join a club (anything: VIDA, bridge club, church club, ladies who lunch club, book club). Go on trips with your DD to NYC. Make magic for her while you can.

I was watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and explained to my children that, at that time, being a wife was a job. See how she dresses up every single day? (No yoga pants!) Yada, yada.

Well, if this marriage is your source of income, you can treat it as you would any other job. We've all had asshole bosses. No kisses since DD was born? Oh, yes, my dear, you have permission to divest yourself of the romantic notion of a companionate marriage and see it for the business it is. Separate bedrooms? Him sleeping around and asking for an open marriage? Solidify your position (name on deed, life insurance, pension, whatever) in case he makes a move toward divorce. Definitely start a secret account and make it your mission to grow it. Put in professional housecleaning and pocket that money. Clean the house yourself. Get a set amount for grocery shopping and buy yourself gift cards instead.

My XH was just as uncaring as yours, but meaner and by no means a provider. Getting him out was easier for this reason. I was the breadwinner and was living as a single mom anyway. He taught me I could do it on my own, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when I took action to do exactly that.

Just one perspective.
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