Reply to Is a disagreement over the number of kids to have a deal breaker for you?

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Reply to "Is a disagreement over the number of kids to have a deal breaker for you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think that that would be a dealbreaker for me.[b] I think that as far as talk of kids goes, the only dealbreakers (before I had kids) would've been "any" vs. "none."[/b]

[b]I think it is worth talking about WHY he wants to have two children, and what his feelings are about the child she already has and how that child fits into the picture. [/b]My husband and I had this conversation before we married. I have a DD from my first marriage and he has no children. When we married, he was open to the idea of more kids, but he was also open to the idea of not having any kids in the house other than DD, who is with us all but one weekend a month. We were on the same page with not wanting to have more than one more, though. As a woman,[b] I would be incredibly hesitant to pursue a relationship with someone who did not already have children who was adamant about wanting more kids than I wanted.[/b]  [/quote]
+1

Not necessarily a dealbreaker, but he sounds a little inflexible, and possibly like he thinks her child doesn't "count." That would be very troubling to me. They need to have more conversations about this - How does he know he definitely wants two kids  when he currently has none? Is he the type of person who can roll with changing circumstances, or once he's made up his mind, he will never reconsider? How does he envision integrating her child into their new family?
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