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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I agree that they have a right to say no but this situation goes a bit deeper than just asking for permission.

They set him up to be dependent on them. They never allowed him to take a job in high school even though he really wanted one. He has never had a chance to gain any independence or maturity. [/quote]

But going on spring break with the frat is not some kind of evidence that he's seeking "independence" or "maturity," OP. Not a trip calculated to make mom and dad feel they can back off, is it? The fact he "threw a tantrum" at his age is telling. He's not mature enough to go if he cannot live with "no."

Maybe they did "set him up to be dependent" but that isn't exactly the issue here. If he were really that dependent in his own mind, he'd have [i]asked[/i] them about the spring break trip. Instead, he [i]told[/i] them.

Their reaction of renting a house nearby and having him stay there but "go to some events" is beyond silly. It gives him two messages, contradictory and neither one good: We don't trust you or your frat. We also will coddle you and give you what you want as long as it's on our terms.

Oh, and the parents now are taking a forced vacation to a place they wouldn't go on their own, just to make his spring break somewhat like he wants it? That's just dumb on their part.

And it's equally silly that these parents now say other parents are bad because they let their kids go on spring break and that's unfair to THEIR son. THe fa

What a mess. I'd do this: Son comes home for spring break and works some form of paying job (he wanted a job in HS, right?) even if it's doing yard work, and the rest of the time, he studies or sees friends who are in the area ,back from their schools. The tantrum means he can come home and learn to chill for that week. Mom and dad don't coddle him with some faked up version of the frat trip; he doesn't get to TELL them what he's doing; they learn not to give him mixed messages. Whatever they end up doing, OP, I'd start talking to this family a lot less. I think they're your family members but I'd butt out of anything to do with their kids since they're all dramatic.[/quote]

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