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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a situation with a close family member but I've been pulled in the middle so ... hoping for advice.

College freshman is almost 19. He is in a frat. His parents are absolute helicopter parents. Father drives 12+ hours once a month to spend the weekend with him. They pay all his bills. Didn't allow him to take his car (that yes they bought and pay expenses for) because he "doesn't need to leave campus". Constant texts and phone calls throughout the day from his mom. The time she visited him she demanded he take her to a frat party so she can see what he gets up to, she also approves his dates still. This kid is an utter spoiled brat and its all his parents doing. He is also the golden child, while they hover over their younger son as well, older son can do no wrong and younger son never lives up to expectations.

So here is the issue. Parents are angry that he "announced" that he was going on spring break with his frat. His mother actually said to me, "He didn't ask, didn't give us any plans just [i]told[/i] us he was going." Parents said, nope absolutely not, can't go. Kid throws epic tantrum. Parents concede a bit and say they will rent a house at the location and he will stay with them and his teenage brother and can "go to some of the events". Kid said, no way not doing that. They rented it anyway. He refused to go and was going to stay on campus. They went to pick him up anyway and forced him to go but apparently he just stayed in the room pissed off the whole time.

Now everyone is in a huge argument. Kid is pouting screaming at them several times at day that they ruined his life. Kid called my DH and tried to get him to convince his parents to let him go. DH told him he was an adult and needed to work it out himself. He also mentioned taking on a part time job. Now both kid and his parents are mad at my DH. Mom is mad at both DH and I because my step son went on his spring break and that wasn't fair to her son (he is a senior but both my step sons went on all their spring breaks and now we are accused of being bad parents because of it) When I reminded mom that we all went on our spring breaks when we were in college she seriously screamed at me "That was a different time!!!" and hung up the phone.

Even though this is now a moot point because spring break is over the tension and arguing seem to be building. Its really ridiculous and reading this back it is borderline absurd but this is the result of 18 years of helicopter parenting. I would like to repair my relationship with the mom and I would also like to gently tell her to lighten up. DH just thinks the whole situation is hilarious.

Any advice at all? Also its okay to laugh at this, the whole situation is a stupid first world problem. I guess I should have expected this to carry over into college. They were notorious hover parents when he was in high school too, including threatening legal action over a B grade and bullying him onto a varsity squad his senior year.[/quote]

I'm kind of amazed they let him join a frat, and the idea of a mom at a frat party is hilarious. Are they planning to go to his job interviews, too? Or his honeymoon?

However, I'm still trying to understand how Dad drives 12+ hours for a weekend visit each month. Is he retired? He can't actually drive up on Saturday and back on Sunday. [/quote]

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