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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you call them out on their rudeness when they were teenagers?  [/quote]

I spoke harshly to them when they were young and I blame myself, but I can't undo the past, I can only try to be supportive now. However, I don't think I'm doing them favors by excusing their almost constant rudeness. (Coming and going with no greeting or comment, refusing to converse at family meals, swearing...) Only one lives at home but the other is in and out a lot due to babysitting and I can start to see her behavior reflected in grandkids (3 and 5), who always resist going home.[/quote]

Wait. Your 20sometbing kids have little ones that you babysit and they are rude to you??? I assume you babysit for free and whenever they need you because you're grandma and want to help?  I'd shut that rudeness down. I realize you want to be there for your grandkids and not lose acces to them too. You can take the high road and say politely "please don't curse in my house" when they are swearing. You can't really make anyone converse at family meals. That's a sullen teenager thing that maybe they haven't outgrown. Ask one question and if they don't want to talk, fine. Talk to your husband and grandkids. [/quote]

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