Reply to When to tell kids about remarriage plans?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "When to tell kids about remarriage plans?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for your responses.

Just curious though, for those who are stepparents - when did you tell your kids about your plans to remarry (how much lead time did you give them)?[/quote]

Now-DH and I had been together for around 2 years when we married. He doesn't have kids from his first marriage; I have 1 who was 2 when we got together. We dated when she was at her dad's, or had lunch together during the day for about 6 months. Spent time together with DD for about another 6 months but no overnights for the first 4 or so. He moved in when we'd been together for a year - we'd talked about marriage and I guess were basically engaged (as in, definitely planning to marry), but because DD was 3, that wasn't really meaningful to her. It was important to me that we live together before we actually married because if it didn't work, I wanted to know before having to go through another divorce. We got married after living together for a year. It happened really organically, and I took a lot of my cues about moving forward from how DD responded to now-DH. When we actually married, we told her about it a few weeks before. We were getting married on the other side of the country, so we basically framed the trip as a trip to see her grandparents and also DH and I were getting married and she could pick out a pretty dress to wear, etc.

How do your kids get along with your boyfriend's kids? What is the coparenting relationship like with his ex and yours?[/quote]

Hi, our daughters are the same age and play together well - there is the occasional spat but nothing major. My boyfriend has one and I have two. We both have amicable working relationships with our exes. Both exes have been supportive of our relationship thus far. We have both been divorced about two years, separated longer than that.[/quote]

That's great that everyone gets along. I would start thinking about how you will combine things. Will everyone have their own room? How will you schedule custody? Do you guys want to have any other children? I normally say that things should be pretty organic, but I don't think that 9 months is long enough for you guys to have figured out what your relationship looks like. Maybe you could get engaged this summer and plan the wedding for next summer instead.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics