Reply to I don't want my mom at my wedding

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[quote=Anonymous]Plain and simple- she's an awful person. I grew up with her being both emotionally and physically abusive towards me from the time I was 14 until I moved out of their house at 20. The physical abusiveness stopped then but she continued to be emotionally abusive any chance she got. She made it very clear that I wasn't the "perfect daughter" that she wanted and constantly told me all the things that was wrong with me. My weight, how I didn't finish college, my jobs, etc. I can't even remember the last time she's told me that she loves me. It's been years. We don't hug or touch. She has tried in a fake way many times but I cringe at the thought of her hugging me because it's just so fake and her physical touch makes me feel sick. We had a huge falling out this past Summer and I didn't talk to her for months. I ended up sucking it up and pretending things were fine around Christmas just so that I could see my siblings and father but now that Christmas is over, I have probably only talked to her three times.

I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and she hasn't offered to help at all. She never even congratulated us on our engagement. Neither of these things surprised me at all. We are about 6 months out from getting married and I just don't want her there. We had one phone call about my wedding and it turned into her telling me that I should just elope and why do I want this "big fancy wedding with bridesmaids?". Our wedding is far from big and fancy. It's at a cute little venue and we are inviting 50 people. We both have two friends in our wedding party and that's it. She's just such a negative person in my life and I know she will be sitting at our wedding judging everything. I don't want her there but I don't know how to have that happen. My dad offered up $10K for the wedding which is pretty much covering the whole thing- again, its very small and simple which is what we wanted. Because he offered that up and its technically THEIR money, I feel like I can't not have her there but the thought of her being there is depressing me as I know she's going to put a damper on the whole day.

I spent almost a year in therapy with a therapist who told me that for my own health and wellbeing, I should cut her out completely. Thats how bad my childhood was because of her. I don't knwo what the point of this post is. Maybe someone has been in my shoes? Or someone can tell me that it's okay to not have her there. I don't know.[/quote]

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