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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not trying to diminish your problems, but this isn't just a problem restricted to having a special needs child.  We have twins and we have times when we get more overwhelmed by having two  (certain stages were very difficult).  As various life issues get in the way, we sometimes get more stressed or one of the kids goes through a difficult phase.  If something like this happens when we visit one of our mothers, we see similar type concern (although both of our mothers would do it in person rather than through email).

The best way we have found to handle any unsolicited advice (and we get a lot from all sources) is to just say "Thanks for caring.  I'll think about what you've said and see what works."  That conveys the message that you've heard them.  You don't have to use anything they said, but I've often found that even some of the ideas in the "I would never do that" category sometimes help.  I've found that kids often defy every plan, intention or principal that you set and sometimes even when you've worked out Plans A, B, C, etc, that sometimes nothing you've thought of works with that particular child and you may have to go with plan Z, which may be something someone you don't like suggested, doing something you swore you'd never do, but it might work in that situation with that child.  I've had that happen a couple of times, so I stop discounting things and even thinking that I'll never do that.  I now think, well, hopefully I'll never need to try that.  And hope my children don't make me resort to that, but no promises anymore.[/quote]

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