Reply to 9 year old girl getting a reputation of being bossy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sweet, bright, and creative 9 year old is also on the anxious side, and very type A. Not OCD, but likes things to go her way. She has siblings so she does have to take turns and share, that's not the issue, she's easy about things like that. But she's a leader type and likes to invent games and run things HER way. We have told her for years she needs to be more flexible, but it hasn't stuck. She's getting a reputation for being "bossy and mean" at school (as reported by the neighborhood kids from the same school). Yes I know that bossy kids often turn into leaders, which is great, but I'm worried she's going to lose friends along the way and if kids start ganging up against her or avoid her because she's annoying--she's going to be crushed and I'd rather have a happy kid whose not a leader than a leader who does great things but is miserable inside. I know I can't control all her interactions and I'm usually a hands off parent, but we have tried to coach her to being less bossy and stop worrying if things don't go as she pictured them, telling her other kids shouldn't have to play her way all the time, etc. I'm wondering if anyone has good words, advice, or books we can read or she can read to help with this.[/quote]

When my 8 yo DD has issues like this (not bossiness in her case but friendship problems, etc.) I tell her stories from my own childhood. In this case, you can tell her about a time you really wanted to do something your way, so you insisted on doing it that way or no way, and so it didn't get done at all. If you don't have a story like this, make one up. I seriously do this almost every week. Now my daughter knows every story from my childhood plus several from other people's childhoods. :)[/quote]

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