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[quote=Anonymous]"I'm concerned that if he's letting his family control his actions over the wedding who know what else they'll try to control in his life. I'm wondering if I should call the whole thing off and let him grow up a bit. I've been down this road before and I don't want to set myself up for another failed marriage." -- OP

OP, you sound mature and thoughtful--more mature than your fiance. You realize he's not really mature enough to marry and needs to "grow up a bit."

If you had been together a shorter time I might say, talk with him and work on this while also postponing the wedding, BUT because you've been a couple for three years, I think you need to call it off, break up and move on, focusing on your child only. If he is doing this [i]three years[/i] into your serious relationship, then he sounds unlikely to grow up in another year between now and a postponed wedding.

Sit down and think hard; list all the times and ways he has chosen family over you, or just indicated that he's going to cave to family pressures, small or large. That will tell you a lot about whether giving him time to grow up would really make any difference. I doubt it will. And a PP has excellent questions to ask yourself--how will these people treat your child if you marry? Will your child be second-best to the grandparents if you and your husband have kids of your own? What will your own relationship with your in-laws be like? And so on. I can't see any good answers coming out of this.

OP, if your current fiance is an immature mama's boy type, and your ex-husband had similar family and maturity issues, after you break up, consider seeing a therapist for a while to figure out why you repeated the pattern with this fiance. You sound smart and careful, and deserve to have a life where a partner puts you and your child first.
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