Reply to Being average when you know they can do better

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I exceed and still excel at a number of things and am willing to try hard. My husband excels at work and is an all or nothing kind of guy.  I have 3 kids who dont naturally push themselves.  They gravitate to safe and easy.  Grades.  As and Bs.  Sports. Average.  Art. Good ability dont want to try. Music. Dont want to practice. Friends.  Never initiate. Participate when invited only. Talent &gt; effort in all cases.  I never see leadership or a im going to do or be &lt;great at x, win x&gt;. So there is no success stories. Just participation.  Pretty complacent about win or lose. Anger when i suggest they do better.  They compare yhemself to the worst kid in class, sport etc and use that to justify their medoicrity.  We spend a lot of $ on activities (3 eakid)

Problem. Am i a bad parent if i let this continue leave them be.  Or am i supposed to push them to some great level by being stricter? I feel like ive failed to give them a life skill. I see them having lifestyles way below their current one.

They have every opportunity  but just dont take advantage to make most out of it.  
Let them be?

I know some parents would continue to push. 
Whats best for the low motivation child?
I ? If pushing would long term change them or just continue to stress me out. 
Some tell me natural motivation is ab normal. [b] But when i read bios of any great success they always credit self motivation. 
[/b]

[/quote]

Exactly! You can't 'push' self-motivation on anyone, no matter how hard you try. They either have it, or they don't. I guess you have to accept the fact there will be no bios written about your children, and that's perfectly 'normal'.[/quote]

Well no one ever called me normal or average so i think its more about me calibrating myself to being a parent to average.  I was prepared to support someone who wanted to be great yet im at a loss when the kid is like "i'm good." good at what??? But  I have come to terms its not about me. Im just worried that not pushing is lazy parenting.  Im not competive vs others. I have a very high internal drive. I dont know how i got it. Its just there. But i see it in a lot of people who are in my circle so i somehow feel its normal.  They somehow produced kids who are at the top of something.  Or are trying to be. I always thought ppl not at top were bc of skill or $ or opportunity .  [b]I never knew ppl just didnt want to by choice ?[/b][/quote]

OP, if you have risen to adulthood and you seriously "never knew" that some people just don't want to be "at the top, by choice," then you are living in the smallest bubble I have ever heard of. You might start by broadening your own circle of friends.[/quote]

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