Reply to Help! My normally sweet 7 yr old is pushing me off the edge

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[quote=Anonymous]At 7, a postive reinforcement system will likely work.

But you need to make it all very mechanical and clear, and you need to practice a few times before hand so he's more likely to be motivated and get with the program.

Here's one idea:

Put a row of Post-its on the door showing the time line.

7:20 - Breakfast
7:45 - Put on shoes and coat
7:50 - Leave for school

Put a digital clock in there by the door, if possible, so he can see the numbers clearly.  (Even if he can tell time with a regular clock, this will be so much easier!)

Right next to the post-its on the door, put up a chart with spots for stickers for each day he hits the goals.

Let HIM pick a prize or reward for each time he gets five stickers.  (Subject to your approval, of course.  Nothing insane.  But it'll be more motivating if he picks the reward.)

PRACTICE how it will work a few times before hand, when it's not actually morning crazy time.  Like after dinner one night.  Literally put on your coats and shoes and get out the door.  Make it fun and silly.  Really ham it up as he pretends to do it "right" and then do the same by pretending to give him a sticker.  Have fun with it and let him feel what it's like to have a good experience getting out the door on time.

Starting the next morning, if he gets a sticker, great.  If not, no yelling.  Just tell him how disappointing -- he missed it and will have to wait longer to get [PRIZE].  But tomorrow's another day. I know you can do it!

(For more on this approach, see Alan Kazdin's book, Parenting the Defiant Child.  It's awesome for ALL children.  Not just those who somehow have gotten labeled as "defiant":  http://alankazdin.com/the-kazdin-method-for-parenting-the-defiant-child-with-no-pills-no-therapy-no-contest-of-wills/)

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