Reply to Not complaining, just feeling sad about having mommy-tracked myself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just found out that a colleague of mine got a big promotion, which I was competitive for until about a year ago, when my one of my DCs started getting sick regularly (chronic illness) and I started missing a lot of work and not being as reliable (lots of doctor's appointments, lots of sick days with little notice).  I still get all my work done, and have good performance reviews, but supervisor makes jokes about my kids being healthy.

Both of us (me and my colleague) have a DH with a demanding career and long hours, both of us have young children (although I have 2 DCs and she only has 1), so it is not simply about having children vs. not having children or having a spouse with easy hours vs long hours.  My colleague definitely puts more into her work than I do (not raw hours, but is willing to travel several times per month and with little notice, needs fewer sick days for her child, pays for lots of extra childcare), so I am not complaining about her getting a promotion, but [b]still feeling sad[/b].

[b]I am at peace with my daily decisions to put less in at work to be there more for my kids, but when I see others pulling ahead career-wise, I do feel some regret. [/b] I put so much into my education and career before I had kids, and while I don't feel like my education was a waste (education is never a waste), it does feel like there was no point to working really hard for a few years to get ahead in my career, only  to mommy-track myself later.  
 
No questions, just venting and [b]feeling sad.[/b]  [/quote]

With all kindness, it doesn't sound like you're actually at peace yet with your decision. If you were, you wouldn't be feeling regret.

I suggest you spend some time fantasizing about how much more you'd enjoy the extra money your coworker is making over the additional time you have with your family if you found out you were going to die. Because that's going to happen someday, and I can guarantee you're not going to care about the money then.[/quote]

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