Reply to Irrational resentment over reactions to parent's death: help me get over it

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[quote=Anonymous]My father died recently. He was old and his death came at the end of a long awful illness, so I understand that this isn't the greatest tragedy. But it's still incredibly sad, in part because it was a really bad end, all mixed up with the holidays, and in part because my mother died a few years ago and so now this huge part of my life is just gone.

Here's the problem: I'm angry about the way a couple of close friends and even my inlaws reacted to this. One good friend who's known my father her entire life called when she heard his death was imminent and started advocating for assisted suicide laws because "we put our beloved pets down." Another texted but then never said another word about it. My inlaws literally did nothing: no card, no flowers, nothing. Not even a Facebook comment. When I spoke with them by phone they said well, we all die eventually.

I'm really offended that such close friends/family treated this as a non-event. Part of it is that even though I'm at an age where this kind of thing should be expected, I don't know anyone else who's lost both parents - nearly all my friends have parents who are big parts of their support networks and are active w/their grandchildren etc. I realize I sound like a self-centered obnoxious jerk myself, but I'd love any advice on how to just get over this.[/quote]

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