Reply to ILs comments on our house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a spouse issue. After the second comment, spouse says, "Okay mom,  okay dad, that's it with the comments. Our house isn't perfect, but it's perfectly fine for us. Stop with the comments." [/quote]

OP, please listen to this post, above. It's your husband's job to say this just as it would be your job if it were your family making such comments.

Also , are your in-laws otherwise OK? If so, I would plan with husband what he'll say next time there's a comment ( winging a response can result in saying things that are too harsh or too vague and ending up in an unwanted defense of your choices). Then next time a comment comes, he says his brief piece and you and he immediately change the subject. "Mom, you often say things like you just said about house upgrades. We do know what needs doing but will do things on our own schedule. I know the house is not perfect but it's perfect for us right now. So speak up if you have something positive to say about the house, but otherwise let's just focus elsewhere, thanks.---Now, let us show you Junior's latest artwork--Junior, show grandma your drawing!"

Repeat as needed. "Mom, remember, I mentioned last month, we have our own priorities for the house. Hey, there's a new restaurant we're trying tonight if you want..."

If they are otherwise OK and not critical in general, maybe MIL is a person who finds it hard at times to make small talk so she reverts to one topic. Or maybe she wishes her own house were different but she can't make changes or FIL won't spend the money or whatever.... I'm just noting that as irritating as this all is, it isn't a hill to die on unless it's part of a real pattern of ongoing criticism of all your and DH's choices. I would bet MIL may not even realize she brings this up at each visit .[/quote]

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