Reply to ILs comments on our house

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[quote=Anonymous]I'd stop having them over.

I turned 40 this year, and I had this realization that it's just not worth trying to accommodate people who are mean.  You don't have to be mean back.  But you do have to disengage.

So someone repeatedly insults my home, that's fine.  I won't invite them over.  We'll go out to dinner.  We'll go to a park.  It doesn't have to be hostile.  But there's no need to suffer.  There's no reason they have to be invited to your house.

It's really rather liberating once you realize you can just disengage.  I wouldn't even respond to their comments.  I also disagree with the "your husband should speak up."

No, I'm certain if grown adults don't understand it's rude to constantly insult someone and pick apart their home when you are a guest, then your husband saying something isn't going to change them at this point.

Instead of focusing on trying to alter their behavior, just change the situation so that they don't have the opportunity to be nasty.  Plan outings.  Suggest a picnic and say you'll meet them there.  Suggest bowling and say you'll meet them there.  Period.  End of story.  [/quote]

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