Reply to ILs comments on our house

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[quote=Anonymous]Every time my ILs visit (maybe once every other month), they make comments about are house. I'm often hurt or feel defensive, and as a result, I pretty much dread their visits.

Their commentary is constant--when are you going to do this? Why haven't you updated that? Have you noticed the carpet pulling up over here? I see you haven't found a piece for that wall...

We have a nice house, but two small kids. We are saving for retirement, college funds and vacations, and as a result, we are doing updates and improvements at a very "measured" pace. We've done must-dos, like a new roof and new HVAC and new water heater. We've done a few nice-to-haves, like new hardwood in the dining room, but there is a lot of aesthetic stuff yet to do. We need new carpet and fresh paint here or there. Nothing is obviously "wrong," it's just that we haven't done everything we want to do. We are saving and doing one thing at a time, and we refuse to go into debt or take money out of savings for nice-to-haves.

The kicker is, their house is far from grand. It is tiny, and hasn't been updated/renovated in years, except for replacing appliances. The carpeting and wallpaper are worn and outdated, and the furniture is mismatched and uncomfortable, except for one or two pieces that had to be replaced. I'm not saying this to be critical, I'm just pointing out that their house is far from perfect--thus, their comments are really hypocriticial, in addition to being hurtful.

Should I say something, or just let it go? It bothers me every time they visit, and I'd rather just confront it if one awkward conversation would stop the pattern. WWYD?[/quote]

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