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[quote=Anonymous]Hope everyone had a good holiday...

I (25M) have been with my GF (26F) for ~3 years, we're both gainfully-employed, debt-free, etc. and she is talking about engagement. Every single person I've brought into the relationship (friends, family, close coworkers, etc) seems to like my GF and is friendly with her. Every person my girlfriend has brought into the relationship likes me with two exceptions:

1. One of my girlfriend's childhood friends who graduated and has lived with her parents in NJ for a few years. My GF really only sees this girl when she goes back to NJ, and at this point this was the first time I had met this person in my life. I hosted a NYE party in my apartment (we both live in the city) and this friend came down to DC. Everybody was having fun, I had consumed 3-4 drinks over a few hours (so nowhere near "embarrassing drunk") and started offering people shots. My GF saw this and instructed me to stop because she thought people would get too drunk. The childhood friend also saw this interaction and told my GF in private she thought I was very immature and my GF could do much better. During this conversation my GF apparently did not defend me at all, and the next morning she told me all about it and actually blamed me for the opinion this female friend had formed of me. My GF was unable to articulate what I did that was immature beyond parroting what this childhood friend had said.

2. One of my girlfriend's female friends (G) has a boyfriend (Z). At this time Z had been let go from his nonprofit job that he apparently hated and was having difficulty finding a new position. My girlfriend and I were at a bar with two work friends and their SOs. My girlfriend invited G and Z (bear in mind this is only the second or third time I had met Z), and apparently Z told G he thought I was an arrogant jerk and did not like me at all. This got back to my girlfriend and subsequently to me, for which my girlfriend did not defend me at all to G or Z and again got mad at me that this guy did not like me. My girlfriend is mainly friends with G, and G likes me alot (I almost get the sense she has a crush on me as she gets a little handsy with me whenever we're out drinking). I asked my girlfriend what I had done that night that made me arrogant or a douche in Z's opinion and again she couldn't say.

I am friendly with both the childhood friend and Z, but I don't really go out of my way to run into them or spend time with them.  Am I right to think how both of these situations were handled by m GF is a huge red flag? If somebody unfairly formed a negative opinion of my GF and started trash-talking her to my face I would absolutely defend her. There's always going to be the 0.1% of people in her life who are not fans of me for one reason or another, and it seems really unfair to blame me unless I've clearly done something to deserve it.

In regards to my question- we have a group iMessage thread with me, my GF, G, and Z. My girlfriend was at her parents house in NJ and I was with my parents in Mclean. My girlfriend was being really chatty over text with Z (they were sending each other animal pictures and stuff like that). I just texted my girlfriend individually "why are you being so buddy buddy with Z?". I told her it felt like kind of a slap in the face after how this guy had talked about me, and she got really mad and told me I was being controlling and that these incidents were in the past and I should let it go. So not only did my GF not defend me to this guy, but she think it's fine to be carrying on like they're best buds.

I just want to get an objective viewpoint on this, let me know if any further details are needed.[/quote]

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