Reply to was I unreasonable (re FIL and ASD child)

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[quote=Anonymous]ASD DD and NT DS have been bickering all day. Nothing bad, just typical sibling stuff -- younger brother would do something annoying (but harmless) and DD would over-react. It got bad enough this morning that we had to leave what we were planning on doing. We got home, separated them, everyone calmed down. It was much better and DS had stopped doing the annoying thing. Then FIL audibly whispered to DS that he should resume doing the annoying thing. Of course he did and DD burst into tears.

I got angry at FIL for encouraging DS to annoy DD. He got angry at me for interfering in his having fun with his grandson. I suggested they go to another room to have fun together, but FIL said he no longer felt in a fun mood.

I don't want to interfere with his relationship with DS -- and in another house, with another sister, the thing they were doing wouldn't be bad. And DD does over-react. But I don't think the adults in her life should be part of the problem.

(In case it matters, we don't celebrate Christmas, so excitement/anxiety over Christmas isn't part of the issue)[/quote]

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