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[quote=Anonymous]
Woah, OP. Your pent-up resentment is spilling out of my computer screen!

I think you need therapy, honestly. For a few sessions, targeted on how to deal with this MIL-glomming problem, and how to manage it. You don't say how your husband deals with it, but perhaps he could go as well, so that you function as a united front.

In the meantime, since it's probably a tad late to get that first session in before she comes, don't share with her any information at all that she could use later as a way to enmesh further into your lives. Do your level best to steer conversation away from private topics, and if she sees what you're up to and complains, pretend to share then redirect. She doesn't need to know which yoga studio, doctor's office, kids' activities you go to now.

Pick your fights - there is one I would die on, and that is the sweets. I would have no problems saying to her face: "I'm sorry, DD will not eat those. You can take them back again otherwise we'll have to throw them out."

Otherwise, deflect, redirect, distract, and KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. It doesn't matter if she complains she doesn't see you anymore, and that you seem to be avoiding her, no one loves her, and it doesn't matter that she says that to all and sundry. What matter is seeing as little of her as possible for you to be pleasant when she come to visit.

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