Reply to FI not being supportive - am I doing too much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's how I see this situation.

You and your fiance moved into a new home yesterday.  You were feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  There's no right or wrong to that, you just were.

It seems like your fiance's reaction to your feeling stressed was to get very defensive. To blame you for not doing x, y, and z.  And to even find reasons why he deserves to feel victimized and be nurtured by you.

Is this a pattern for him?  Because all he really had to do in this situation was give you a hug and tell you "It's okay babe, I'm here for you."  [/quote]

You hit it right on the head. That's really all I wanted. I just needed a hug and he say it would be ok. It would of been fine. It's just the blame, hurtful words, saying I need to "man up" and "get over it" is what has bothered me so much. Yes, this is normal. I tell him he is not emotionally supportive of me, he says he can't because I never do anything right and don't treat him like a king or the man of the house, so he won't treat me like a "queen."[/quote]

Oh girl, run.  Run far far away.  [/quote]

It is true though, PP. I don't do anything right. I can't manage my finances. I'm broke every check. I don't cook or clean as often as a woman should (or for him...the way his mom does it). Our daughter's hair doesn't always look perfect. I sent her to school with a stain on her jeans once (I didn't see the stain but FI did and was very upset). All I want to do is be on my phone according to him (he only says it's an issue when he wants something. When he's on his phone, which is a lot of the time, it's ok). I have a full time job and a part time gig but most times I don't meet our agreed $2000 per month from the part time job to save for our wedding and buying a house...though none of the wedding or house money seems to be coming from him...he has no part time). I don't buy the right groceries. I move too slow. I don't want to watch basketball or investigation discovery with him all the time. I forget things.  I take too long in the store.

I don't do anything right for him. [/quote]

Okay then why are you with him? Seems like a no brainer. [/quote]

Idk, a hope that he will change? Me telling myself I'll change myself for him. Not having anyone else. Afraid. Our daughter. Embarrassment. I just wanted to know if my concerns were valid or if I was overreacting. [/quote]

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