Reply to Is it rude to ask if friend plans to have kids?

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Reply to "Is it rude to ask if friend plans to have kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It depends on the friendship and situation, I think.  If it's someone you're really close with and are having a one-on-one fairly deep conversation over coffee about your lives, then I think it could be normal, if you ask it in a way that makes it clear you're just curious about the other person's life.  Like, you asked your friend, "So, are you happy in your job right now?  I remember you were thinking about looking for something new a few months ago," and then she talks for a while about how she doesn't feel fulfilled there, she hates her boss, etc.  Then you talk about your job a bit and move on to something about your husband.  Then you say in the same way as you asked about her job, "Do you guys want to have kids someday?"  Then let her answer however she wants, and if it's fairly short or evasive, let it go.  If not, then listen with genuine interest and don't try to talk her out of it or act judgmental if she says no.  And leave your kids and how fulfilled you are by them out of it.  It's not about you -- it's about her.

BUT, I would only ask if it's someone who you would feel comfortable discussing a medical situation or infertility or marital problem you were having and feel she would feel comfortable sharing with you.  If not, then it's none of your business.[/quote]

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