Reply to Shopping for gifts for a spouse when you're angry with them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spa GC
Warm scarf
A new fiction book
A getaway for the two of you to try and work things out?[/quote]

Yes, on the first three.  I wouldn't force it with #4 right now.  OP, is your wife having a hard time with menopause?[/quote]

No, that's not it. For reasons I really can't get into.

I've recently learned that she concealed some mental health issues from me before we got married and I think they're coming back. I've asked her to get help, particularly since she struck our teenager the other day. Didn't hurt the child -- at least physically. But, I've kind of drawn a line in the sand now about insisting she do something about her anger. She's always angry at everyone. We walk around on eggshells around the house. I've put up for it for far too long.

Sorry, it just really has me down. I know this is supposed to be a happier time of the year, but I'm sitting downstairs bearing the silent treatment this morning because I'm refusing to indulge what I've come to recognize as a pattern -- an angry outburst at my child, followed by me calling her out on it, followed by notification that she will sulk for 3 or 4 days until she's ready to talk about it. So, I'm kind of done.

Just the timing sucks. [/quote]

Sorry OP. Sounds like she needs to get some time with a mental healthcare provider. Just make it through the next couple of days and then have the sit-down: "Here's the pattern-you have an angry outburst, get called out and then sulk. Rinse and repeat. This is not okay. I love you and hate to see you in pain like this. And I'm not going to have you continue to do this to our family. I need you to make an appointment with a therapist by the end of the week. If you need help in finding names, I can do that. If you want me to go with you, I will. But not doing anything isn't an option."[/quote]

Thanks. I've actually tried that and end up getting attacked. But I guess it's worth another try. She's very good at gaslighting.[/quote]

Then I'm amending my post: I would suggest YOU make the appointment for therapy. Invite her to come. YOU go and figure out how you're either going to continue in this marriage or how you're going to end it. Your children do not need to live with someone who is unstable and unwilling to get help. Again, make the appointment for yourself and invite her to come. [/quote]

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