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[quote=Anonymous]Everything I have read say do it (we did it 10y ago!) From the Queer Mamas group:

I am the Family Law Director at the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and a queer mama. I would like everyone to know that yes, you do really need an adoption or other court judgment of parentage* if you are not a genetic parent (whether or not you gave birth)** or you did not give birth and you used assisted reproduction (anything other than intercourse between two intended parents). If an attorney has told you that you do not need to do this, they are wrong. This is the ONLY way to guarantee that you will be respected as parent in your home state and if you move or travel. If you are married, you would get an adoption using the stepparent adoption procedures. This is true even if: 1) you are on the birth certificate, 2) you are married, 3) all your relatives are supportive or you have no relatives, 4) your partner/spouse would never try to keep you from your child. We recommend an adoption or parentage judgment no matter what state you live in the U.S. There are a dozens of different ways you could lose your child if you do not have an adoption or court judgment, and I think I've seen them all. No one expects them to happen. Yes, it is wrong that you have to adopt your own child, and I have devoted my career to working for the day when that will not be necessary. But we are not there yet, and we have to protect our children in the meantime. I also give this advice to non-LGBT parents who use assisted reproduction, and I have seen them lose their children as well. It is more likely to happen to LGBT parents because of homophobia and transphobia, so it is even more important for us to do. I have worked on hundreds of cases involving LGBT parents who have lost or are at risk of losing their children. I am one of the leading experts on LGBT family law in the U.S. Please be the parent who comes to me when you are happy trying to protect your family, not the distraught parent who has lost his or her child. [/quote]

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