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What to do with a 4 yr old that won't take naps but is SUPER grumpy?
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Anonymous
| My almost 4 year old son gave up naps a few months ago. Quiet time doesn't work. Anything related to going to his room and being quiet throws him into a rage and he screams and cries. I know this is b/c he is tired but any efforts towards having him relax, nap or have down time end up with him loosing it. Anyone have any ideas on how to get him to have down time? |
Anonymous
| Just let him lose it. My son is nearly 5 and sometimes I put him in his room for quiet time. I honestly don't care too much what he does in there as long as it is not involving me and not destructive. So he usually plays with his toys, looks at books and sometimes naps. Let your son scream and cry if he wants. Set a timer for maybe 30-45 mins and if he hasn't fallen asleep in that time, let him come out. Then put him to bed early. There is nothing worse than a super late nap at that age. He'll be awake until midnight! |
NannyM
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Quiet time is something a lot of preschool aged children have difficulty with - I would suggest trying to make quiet time a more 'enjoyable' time for him. Does he like music? Either a CD player on or something where he has his own headphones. Favorite books or stuffed animals and blankets.
Explain to him that it's quiet time, and that not only does he have to stay in his room, but he has to stay in his bed. He is definitely at an age where he'll try you and will get out of bed, and come out of his room a million times- but you have to be consistent in putting him back in bed every single time. If he cries or screams, let him. As long as he is hurting himself, you, or damaging anything, crying won't harm him. It could take a few days, or it could take a month, but you have to be consistent  Hang in there!
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Anonymous
| OP here...another complicating factor is that his baby sister's room is next to his so if he screams he'll wake her up. |
Anonymous
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Get him a small jar and some small pebbles or something to put in the jar. If she stays in his room and plays quietly for say 10 mins, put a pebble in the jar. Decide on how many pebbles it will take to earn some kind of reward to be given right after his rest time. It doesn't have to be a toy or any "thing" but it could be a video he likes or s special snack. It worked like a charm for my son. If he can only be quiet and stay in his room for 5 mins, start off with that time and build it up. Yes, it requires you to be involved but as you lengthen the amount of time, it will be worth it. Just make sure you keep the extra pebbles with you
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Anonymous
| We only have to deal with this two days a week because my DD is in full day preschool and does nap there (but not at home). On the weekends we time errands or other car trips with what would be nap time. She inevitably will fall asleep in the car if she is tired enough, even though she hasn't napped at home for 9 months. My older one went through the same thing. Luckily, he is past it so we just have one grump. |
Anonymous
| Put on a video for him while the baby sleeps and then put him to bed early. Most 4 yr olds don't nap anymore as it starts to interfere with them falling asleep at night. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like quiet time should be moved up? Get him in there earlier, before he's too grumpty.
To be honestly, your post reads that you don't believe quiet time is possible, and if that is in part true, he's probably picking up on that and working it hard. For us we do several warnings "after lunch, you'll do x, then you will have 10 mintues, then it will quiet time" type standard stuff. Everytime he comes out of the room or asks me "Is this over" he gets 15 more minutes. We had 3 ugly days and then it was over. He needs it so desperately, I felt this was one battle worth picking. Good luck! I write this in the spirit of complete support!!!!! |
Anonymous
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For us we do several warnings "after lunch, you'll do x, then you will have 10 mintues, then it will quiet time" type standard stuff. Everytime he comes out of the room or asks me "Is this over" he gets 15 more minutes. We had 3 ugly days and then it was over. He needs it so desperately, I felt this was one battle worth picking.
We did something similar. I had an immediate reward system - you lie down for 20 minutes and you can do x. (I like pebble idea mentioned here too). But you come out, you just added 5 minutes more. It was a battle for a few days, but we won. True also that you must get them to rest before meltdown when you see the fatigue starting, DS sometimes fell asleep, often not, but he was much better after 20 minutes lying down and learned to tell time early
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