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Gift ideas for baby blues neighbor
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Anonymous
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Our new neighbors recently had a baby. I don't know too much except that they just had a little boy and mom is having a bad case of the baby blues.
Besides the customary meal for first time moms, are there any other good gift ideas for a new mom with baby blues? Maybe a flower bouquet, a funny book, a journal, or something? |
Anonymous
| You sound like a nice neighbor. Flowers or a book are good ideas. Or maybe a DVD of some movie you think is either funny or a harmless romantic comedy. At some point invite her and her little man over for lunch at your place. |
Anonymous
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Awwww how nice. I had a nasty week of the blues, thankfully it passed. I was sooo much better on days when I got out so maybe invite her for a walk and then lunch or walk to get some ice cream? It sounds like bs but fresh air totally helps. Or go for a walk, bring take out lunch to her place and offer to hold the baby so she can take a nap(she will pribably be nervous about it so just assure her you will come and get her right away if the baby gets upset).
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Anonymous
| Company! If she's nursing, maybe some of those cooling gel packs for her nipples (our LC gave me some, so I assume they're ok). Or offering to hold the baby for an hour so she can sleep. But more than anything I wanted company from another mom. |
Anonymous
Offer to watch the baby while she gets out of the house (even to run errands) or takes a nap - that is the best thing, if she's up for it. If she's not comfortable with that, then bringing over dinner is AWESOME...especially if it's ready-to-eat and you don't stick around (unless you're actively helping with the baby). Edible arrangements are awesome...I craved fruit for months post-partum, and especially if she's BF-ing, cut up fruit is great since you don't need 2 hands 
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Anonymous
That isn't a gift you want for your neighbor. Geez louise. |
Anonymous
| I meant "from your neighbor". |
Anjelica
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| Take her out for lunch or an early dinner. Her husband can watch the baby while she's away - enjoying once again what it's like to be "baby-free' for a bit. |
Anjelica
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I have to agree. Unless you're good friends, I'd be a little creeped out by nipple pads. |
Anonymous
I disagree. If there was an experienced breastfeeder that had good advice and thoughts on products that would help me succeed...wouldn't weird me out at all. |
Anonymous
I disagree. It wouldn't weird me out at all. Anyone who's breastfed knows what the deal is. It's nothing to be embarassed about. |
Anonymous
It's still very weird. Who knows if she is having nipple issues? It sounds like she needs cheering more than nipple advice. Ugh. The breastfeeder crazies drive me nuts. Maybe she's not breastfeeding. So annoying. |
Anonymous
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You sound like a thoughtful and nice neighbor. My favorite presents were meals. Especially if she's blue, she's feel low-energy.
If you think she'd accept the help, you could also ask her if she'd like you to come in and "load the dishwasher, run a load of laundry" while she enjoys her baby. I found that I wished more people had offered to do this: because you really just want to lie in bed and nurse and cuddle and doze off with your adorable newborn, but you feel ashamed and alarmed that you have no clean sheets, no clean towels, no clean plates... |
Anonymous
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I had the baby blues for 6 weeks, and felt very isolated (no family, DH back at work) A couple very kind neighbors stopped by the first week with meals, but we didn't know each other well, and I wasn't about to reach back to them for help. (I'm an introvert, too proud to ask for help even if I weren't shy, and was embarrased by how I wasn't happy/showered/the house was a mess, etc.) What would have been a huge perk-up to me I think would have been any of the following:
- Stopping by on your way to Starbucks/lunch to ask if she wants anything - not another family meal but a personal treat (I probably would've shed tears of joy for a latte or a burger!) - likewise, if you're stopping at the grocery store/Target, where, see if there's anything she needs. Sometimes the whole idea of getting changed, loading up the diaper bag, carseat, stroller etc was too much to bear - enticing her out of the house on a nice day, e.g., "hey, I was walking the dog, want to take the baby for a walk?" It would also help if you're wearing sweats so I wouldnt feel like a total schlub leaving the house! 
- dropping off a funny movie/chick flick and some snacks (but don't offer to stay b/c she may be too embarrassed by the house to let you in!) - if you know her DH, maybe prearrange a coffee/movie on a weekend - he'll watch the baby and you'll get her out of the house for 1-2 hours in a low-stress environment (who can turn down a movie - no talking and no one cares what you're wearing!) - if you have kids, maybe suggest a joint activity like a concert at Jammin' Java or a simple walk to the park - seeing happy moms/kids actually reinforced to me that we would get better. Also, while I may have been weirded out by nipple shields from a non-mom, I would've relished advice from a fellow mom. One of the main reasons for my blues were difficulties breastfeeding and the lack of having any friends/family to ask about it. Take advantage of any informal opportunities to ask how things are going or volunteer your own stories not in a preachy way, but in a, "geez, I remember struggling with X (colic, latching, bonding, whatever), hope you guys have figured it out..." If someone had given me the opportunity to open up, it would've helped with the feeling that I was alone. Last, if you notice/hear that it's going on for an extended period of time, reach out to her DH to see how he's coping. I 'snapped out it' around 6 weeks, but was just about at the point where DH was getting really worried that it was PPD. He did a good job hiding it so as not to make me feel even worse, but realized after he didn't know where to get help - he didn't want to call my OB on me, and doesn't have any dad friends to bounce concerns off of... |
Anonymous
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Ditto the previous poster.
All I wanted in those first weeks after hubby went back to work was to sleep. And my baby didn't nap during the day, unless it was on me. Sadly, I don't have any family to help out and friends have to work. So, if you offer to watch the baby, even if it's on her couch, while she takes a nap, a shower, a walk, fixes dinner, whatever, I think you would be a lifesaver. I didn't need "stuff" I just needed some support and reassurance that I was doing okay. |