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Scared to breastfeed...
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Anonymous
| I'm scared to breastfeed. Yes, I am. I was unable to breastfeed DC #1 for a number of reasons (all sorts of things happened that first week that basically made it impossible to breastfeed). So, I beat myself over NOT breastfeeding for a LONG, LONG time because all I had ever planned to do was breastfeed. I felt immense guilt and felt like I was giving my DC rat poison. However, I did eventually get over the guilt (what good would it do anyone) and looking back, DH has told me how glad he is that he was able to help give DC a bottle and I was glad to not be tied down to every feeding. Now, however, we're preparing for baby #2 (due in a couple of months) and for some reason I'm TERRIFIED of breastfeeding. I didn't do it with DC #1 and I don't know how to do it and ALL the responsibility would be on me (whereas I felt guilty at first, but DH could help out that first week after delivery when so much happened and HE FED THE BABY most of that first week). Any advice/suggestions? I'm honestly jealous of women that make breastfeeding look so easy and natural... |
Anonymous
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Oh hugs to you OP. Don't feel guilty. As long as your baby is healthy it doesnt matter, and its not as if you didnt breastfeed over something trivial like you were scared it would ruin your breasts. And like you said your DH got the benefit of bonding with baby and being able to help out with feeding.
If you do decide to bf and are successful this time, but what to include DH, why not get a pump? As far as it being easy, yeah right. Have you talked to a lactation consultant yet? With your history that would be something I'd definately look into. Whatever you decide I'm sure it'll be the right thing for your family. |
Anonymous
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Just enjoy having a newborn and do whatever works for you and your family at the time. They get big so fast.
For what it is worth, I had an awful awful awful experience bfing with #1 but it was really easy for me with #2. So your first experience is not necessarily a good indicator of how it will go with #2. If it is important to you, try it and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, no biggie. |
Anonymous
| I have never understood the guilt of not BFing. It does not work for everyone whatever the reason. Be thankful that formula is an option or you could have much bigger problems! Do whatever is best for your family. |
Anonymous
| I suggest you give it a go and if it doesn't work just move on. Don't pressure yourself as you know you will have an easy out and regardless of the results you will have worked on your fears. |
Anonymous
I am having my first and i am scared too. everyone keeps asking me, "are you going to BF?" and i am only 17 weeks. i think that is such a personal choice, and why do people ask that? i just say, "i don't know yet, i just want to do what is best for us" and i get these weird unsympathetic looks...so much pressure already!!!!! |
Anonymous
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I also had trouble BFing #1. I did it for 12 weeks, but supplemented with formula the whole time. I think that was the best thing I ever did in the newborn period -- I'm glad my baby got some breast milk and I tried, but I am equally glad that I was able to let go of the bfing goal and enjoy my child. We got out of the house a lot because I wasn't worried about breastfeeding in public, I wasn't stressed about pumping, my husband could help out, my daughter grew and was happy... we all won. You won't convince me that my now-toddler would have been healthier, happier, or smarter if I had killed myself trying to make breastfeeding work out. I know these are lightning rod words on this site, but I think the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding are marginal in many cases, and I don't think the health benefits for the baby outweigh the struggles of the new mother in many/most instances.
I say, try it and if it feels right and works out, great. If not, move on guilt-free and enjoy your baby! That's what I am going to do for #2. |
Anonymous
| I know someone who had a tough time nursing her first baby, lots of pain, low milk, poor latch, wound up exclusively pumping with lots of formula supplement. She stuck it out for about 3 months. With her second, she went into it with that attitude of whatever happens, happens, and baby # 2 nursed exclusively until 1 year, no problems at all, easy as pie. So go into it with an open mind, and just do whatever works for you and your baby. |
cmkeough
Member Location: Arlington, VA
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Member Location: Arlington, VA
Offline
| I agree with some of the PP's, don't beat yourself up over not BFing. I BF DD (she just turned 2) and am expecting DS in May. I BF until she was 6 months old (wished I'd done it longer but was awful about pumping while at work) and let me tell you, people thought I made it look easy and it wasn't! The first two weeks were AWFUL, and I think I have a decent threshold for pain and good God it was worse than child birth if you ask me. After the first two weeks we got it down (split nipple healed) and it was smooth sailing. Then came time for her to take a bottle vs. boob (and she had been taking a bottle occassionaly) - yeah that was horrendous for DH and me to listen to her cry and want the boob. Eventually the nanny had to get her on the bottle but it wasn't fun for any of us envolved. So the moral of the story is do what works for you and your family, and don't feel guilty. |
Anonymous
| your feelings make perfect sense to me. i had a lot of trouble breastfeeding my first child. i got thrush from the antibiotics i received during labor and just had a horrible time both emotionally and physically. i probably would have benefited from giving up but i stubbornly kept going. i ended up able to continue with the help of a lactation consultant, which in retrospect i felt good about, but still, when i thought about breastfeeding a second child, i felt really nervous. but i just had my second baby four months ago and it has been a lot easier this time around. plus i have put less pressure on myself than the first time and decided that if i had as much trouble this time as i did last time i would just switch to formula. just knowing that i felt okay about that made the whole thing less stressful. i think that if you want to breastfeed, getting some additional emotional and informational support from a lactation consultant both before and after your baby's birth could be great. what my lactation consultant did was not only help me with how to breastfeed, but also helped me process my emotions, feelings of failure and worry, and feelings of frustration about being the sole food source, etc. for me breastfeeding is a very emotional as well as physical experience and i had to deal with the emotions as well as the mechanics. i heard the DC breastfeeding center is excellent. and if it doesn't work out then as others have said i think it makes sense to just feel good about your efforts and be at peace with using formula. good luck to you! |