Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views

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[Post New]09/26/2020 14:13
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Anonymous
My family has always been fairly left leaning, but once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago he started to waver a bit as her family is very republican. I am fine with him having different political views, but every conversation we’ve had over the past few months includes him making comments about how Trump is the greatest president in our history (which I doubt even most Trump fans would even agree with) and how everything is the Democrats’ fault (including Breonna Taylor’s death apparently). He goes on 10 minute long rants about how I can’t vote for Biden and that I have been brainwashed if I can’t see how great Trump is. He talks about how misleading most of the news networks and papers are and that they just have it out for Trump, but believes wholeheartedly that Fox News is impartial.

Every time I he starts I tell him that I don’t want to talk politics and try to change the subject and/or tune him out, but I literally can’t stand it anymore and blew up at him when we last spoke.

How do others manage parents or close family members with different political views who are very vocal about them? I’m at the point where I may need to cut that side of my family off to preserve my own sanity.
[Post New]09/26/2020 16:18
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Anonymous
Election years are always difficult. Do not engage. Change the subject. Decrease interactions if they cant talk about anything besides politics.
[Post New]09/26/2020 16:21
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Anonymous
Two things, tell her if she wants women's bodies regulated by the government she should be out in the streets protesting that men at age 12 should get vasectomies, they can be reversed right? Second thing, tell her to start saving because her health insurance is about to triple at min.
[Post New]09/26/2020 17:29
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Anonymous
Make a strict rule - no politics or the get together is over. You may have to walk out the first time to get your resolve across. But stick to your plan as things are not going to be over for months.

My sister and I had to make this deal and we abide by it.
[Post New]09/26/2020 17:33
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My family has always been fairly left leaning, but once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago he started to waver a bit as her family is very republican. I am fine with him having different political views, but every conversation we’ve had over the past few months includes him making comments about how Trump is the greatest president in our history (which I doubt even most Trump fans would even agree with) and how everything is the Democrats’ fault (including Breonna Taylor’s death apparently). He goes on 10 minute long rants about how I can’t vote for Biden and that I have been brainwashed if I can’t see how great Trump is. He talks about how misleading most of the news networks and papers are and that they just have it out for Trump, but believes wholeheartedly that Fox News is impartial.

Every time I he starts I tell him that I don’t want to talk politics and try to change the subject and/or tune him out, but I literally can’t stand it anymore and blew up at him when we last spoke.

How do others manage parents or close family members with different political views who are very vocal about them? I’m at the point where I may need to cut that side of my family off to preserve my own sanity.


You must get them off Fox and rightwing media. Have you seen “The Brainwashing of My Dad”? Dad is an apolitical Democrat who becomes a rightwing crazy due to listening to Limbaugh and Fox. But he is saved— his wife and family break him away from radio, Fox, and rightwing internet. And he becomes a caring person again.

If he has terrible values you must engage.
[Post New]09/26/2020 21:20
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jsmith123
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Make a strict rule - no politics or the get together is over. You may have to walk out the first time to get your resolve across. But stick to your plan as things are not going to be over for months.

My sister and I had to make this deal and we abide by it.


Yes, this.

But do it in a caring way.

When I was in this spot with my father, I sat down with him and basically just said something like: "I hardly get to see you. I don't want the times we spend together to be spent like this."
[Post New]09/26/2020 22:27
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Two things, tell her if she wants women's bodies regulated by the government she should be out in the streets protesting that men at age 12 should get vasectomies, they can be reversed right? Second thing, tell her to start saving because her health insurance is about to triple at min.


I am a life long dem but the ACA that Obama crafted screwed us all. Prices have skyrocketed because of it. Ask your employer, check your premium increases.
[Post New]09/27/2020 07:19
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Two things, tell her if she wants women's bodies regulated by the government she should be out in the streets protesting that men at age 12 should get vasectomies, they can be reversed right? Second thing, tell her to start saving because her health insurance is about to triple at min.


I am a life long dem but the ACA that Obama crafted screwed us all. Prices have skyrocketed because of it. Ask your employer, check your premium increases.


Nope. I have great health insurance at a great price.

What happened is that companies took the opportunity to cost shift onto employees at this time so they could blame it on the ACA.

I am in a union, so that didn't happen to me.
[Post New]09/27/2020 09:01
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Anonymous
"...once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago"

Why is this relevant? You lost credibility with me just by immediately blaming and pointing fingers at SM.

Doesn't your father have a brain of his own? Is he so easily swayed that your SM is completely responsible for his political mindset? Is she forcing him to sit in front of the TV, with toothpicks in his eyes?

Aside from his own personal views, maybe there are others in your father's life who have had just as much influence on his opinions - coworkers, friends, neighbors.

This isn't just about politics. I think you are just looking for a good excuse to cut your father (and his horrid wife) out of your life.

[Post New]09/27/2020 10:27
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Anonymous
As others said, I change the subject or make an excuse to leave the conversation calmly. With my mother you do not confront. You will set off a rant on anything from how the schools indoctrinated us into being liberals to we are democrats because we are not pro-Trump because we are spoiled entitled brats to how we can kiss out inheritance goodbye if Trump is voted out because of estate laws or something. The last one I find the most interesting because she threatens to change her will on a regular basis and wants us to jump through hoops. I kissed the inheritance goodbye long ago when I decided I would treat her with respect and do what I could for her, but I refuse to do backflips with a carrot dangling over my head. My health is worth far more than the money she cares more about than people and kindness.
[Post New]09/27/2020 10:47
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Two things, tell her if she wants women's bodies regulated by the government she should be out in the streets protesting that men at age 12 should get vasectomies, they can be reversed right? Second thing, tell her to start saving because her health insurance is about to triple at min.


I am a life long dem but the ACA that Obama crafted screwed us all. Prices have skyrocketed because of it. Ask your employer, check your premium increases.
Prices were sky rocketing before it too. The ACA actually tamed the increases a bit.
[Post New]09/27/2020 10:56
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My family has always been fairly left leaning, but once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago he started to waver a bit as her family is very republican. I am fine with him having different political views, but every conversation we’ve had over the past few months includes him making comments about how Trump is the greatest president in our history (which I doubt even most Trump fans would even agree with) and how everything is the Democrats’ fault (including Breonna Taylor’s death apparently). He goes on 10 minute long rants about how I can’t vote for Biden and that I have been brainwashed if I can’t see how great Trump is. He talks about how misleading most of the news networks and papers are and that they just have it out for Trump, but believes wholeheartedly that Fox News is impartial.

Every time I he starts I tell him that I don’t want to talk politics and try to change the subject and/or tune him out, but I literally can’t stand it anymore and blew up at him when we last spoke.

How do others manage parents or close family members with different political views who are very vocal about them? I’m at the point where I may need to cut that side of my family off to preserve my own sanity.


Your father is lost in a cult, unfortunately. These aren't different political views...his values and world view changed.
[Post New]09/27/2020 16:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My family has always been fairly left leaning, but once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago he started to waver a bit as her family is very republican. I am fine with him having different political views, but every conversation we’ve had over the past few months includes him making comments about how Trump is the greatest president in our history (which I doubt even most Trump fans would even agree with) and how everything is the Democrats’ fault (including Breonna Taylor’s death apparently). He goes on 10 minute long rants about how I can’t vote for Biden and that I have been brainwashed if I can’t see how great Trump is. He talks about how misleading most of the news networks and papers are and that they just have it out for Trump, but believes wholeheartedly that Fox News is impartial.

Every time I he starts I tell him that I don’t want to talk politics and try to change the subject and/or tune him out, but I literally can’t stand it anymore and blew up at him when we last spoke.

How do others manage parents or close family members with different political views who are very vocal about them? I’m at the point where I may need to cut that side of my family off to preserve my own sanity.


Your father is lost in a cult, unfortunately. These aren't different political views...his values and world view changed.


Completely agree it is a cult. It includes what might have been previously moderate Republicans who have been hoodwinked by propaganda and a totalitarian mindset.

What I object to is that OP is pointing fingers at SM as though it's entirely her fault and she somehow indoctrinated her poor, hapless father into her cult "once [he] married her" 15 YEARS ago. Were this true, then her father would have displayed his political leanings long before now.

I'm sure if this were OP's bio father AND mother it would be a different story and mom wouldn't be the evil influencer. But hey, stepparents are now fair game for all family ills.
[Post New]09/27/2020 16:58
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Anonymous
Hang up the phone on him.
[Post New]09/27/2020 17:14
quote
Anonymous
jsmith123 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Make a strict rule - no politics or the get together is over. You may have to walk out the first time to get your resolve across. But stick to your plan as things are not going to be over for months.

My sister and I had to make this deal and we abide by it.


Yes, this.

But do it in a caring way.

When I was in this spot with my father, I sat down with him and basically just said something like: "I hardly get to see you. I don't want the times we spend together to be spent like this."


I think this is good advice. My parents are okay but some of their siblings have political leanings that are diametrically opposed to ours. It is tough. Before we see them I have a mental list of "safe" topics and so I keep changing the subject. I also go to the bathroom a lot if I need to leave the room to cut off a conversation "oops, all that coffee this morning, I'll be right back!"
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