Would you still allow sleepovers?
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Anonymous
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I think the age of the kids matters. If they are under 12 or 13 I would not let them stay over if I couldn't be sure she was going to be sober. If they are teenagers, maybe ok.
I take a pretty strict stance though. I don't smoke pot; no one in my family does, and if anyone in my friend group does they've never mentioned it. We do drink but not to excess. We always have a designated driver. When we have friends over no one ever drinks more than 2 beers and no one has ever said or seemed to be incapable of caring for a small child (kids are all under 6). I think it is very irresponsible of anyone to be getting high or drunk when you have small kids in your care and no other adult around to step in if necessary. |
Anonymous
| So high that she could drive - so would that be so high that she couldn’t get multiple kids out in a fire? So high that she couldn’t respond to a burn? So high that she couldn’t react to another emergency? There are a lot of risks when caring for other perople’s children. It boils down to just how much you really think you can trust her. |
Anonymous
| She was smart not to drive, but she couldn't call Uber? Call a friend? She is going to regret this when she gets the ambulance bill... |
Anonymous
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So high that she couldn't drive would be ANY amount of high. It's like 2 beers - you shouldn't be driving but you're not sloppy or useless.
It was poor timing that she happened to be high when he got hurt. But if she had had a little too much wine in the evening and didn't feel comfortable driving, would you be judging? |
Anonymous
THat's great. So all this time my doc has been doubling what I've said, which would be a LOT...even though I'm telling the truth. You all suck. Now I know to cut it in half and let you double it. 
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Anonymous
Wow! So my doctor thinks I’m drinking every day? I’ve always told the truth. Is this a general rule or only a rule when there is reason for concern. |
Skyeblue
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Member Offline
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Ha, didn't mean to derail OP's post.
The "double" rule only matters if it matters. Meaning, if the focus is on alcohol consumption (someone looking for detox) or health issues related to alcohol (hypertension, high cholesterol, hepatitis, obesity, etc.), they yeah. I'm going to mentally double your reported intake. But for someone coming in for a cough or a wrist fracture? Or an annual health visit where all your numbers look good? Then whatever. 1 drink/night vs 2 doesn't raise eyebrows. As a PSA however, I do feel obligated to point out how sneaky alcohol consumption can be, and that current studies don't support the protective effect of alcohol (i.e. the daily glass of red wine) that some of us used to believe. Again, no judgement. I love a glass of wine. But I do think many of us (and lots of moms! See the "mommy needs wine" culture) operate under some degree of plausible deniability re: our drinking. Here's the Lancet study for those interested: https://www.thelancet.com/article/S0140-6736(18)31571-X/fulltext |
Anonymous
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Imagine there was a fire at her house. Would you feel that she had it together enough to safely see all children out of the house? If not, no more sleepovers.
I think your gut is say “no” but you aren’t being honest with yourself because you don’t want to rock the boat. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn’t rule it out. I wouldn’t drive my kid to the ER if I’d had a glass of wine or if I’d had a nibble off an edible. The last thing I need is to get a DUI driving around with a kid with a broken arm. She made a responsible choice by not driving.
Would you not allow sleepovers if she had a glass of wine while your kids were there? |