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I don't want to go back to work next week.
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Anonymous
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There, I said it.
I've got an easy job, a husband who works in a way that allows us to skip daycare, and can ease back into things part time at my full time salary and can work from home (but work-work, not work from home and mainly hang out with the baby kind of work)...but I still do not want to go back. I'm not ready, and I don't think I'll ever be ready. I don't want to go back to work and I feel frustrated and like I'm going to throw a four year old's temper tantrum and say I. Don't. Wanna. Do. It!!!! I love(d) my job and formerly got a ton of satisfaction from it (not identity) and fully expect to get satisfaction from it again. But in a perfect world I would not be working until DS is in elementary school. Sigh... Not looking for suggestions about how to quit, or how to enjoy working again. I can't do the former (I'm the primary breadwinner, we have a mortgage, I have the insurance for our family...) and I know I'll enjoy work again, but I know for a fact that going back to work is not going to make me happier than staying home would. I've been working since I was 14 years old and enjoying work since I was about 18 years old, and in a prestigious job since I was about 25 years old. Now I'm in my mid-thirties, and I know I don't want to go back. (Even though being a mom is harder than any job I've ever had). I'm just venting... |
Anonymous
| Well, this may make you feel better...I am almost exactly you, but my DH made just enough that we decided (at literally the 11th hour) that I would stay home. I'm three years in, now...and um..I dunno. So, so, so many days I wished I was working outside the home. It's very clear to me that it's a complete draw either way, and you have to 'suck it up' no matter which side you land on (staying home or working in the outside world). |
zumbamama
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I think many of us felt that way when we had to go back...I cried dropping DC off at daycare the first day. It is so tough. Is it possible to build in lunch dates with your DC? That REALLY helped me get through the day.
While you may have to go back to work next week, you can maybe explore potential options that might allow you a more flexible schedule with your DC down the road. |
Anonymous
| There are pros and cons to every job - motherhood is no exception. |
Anonymous
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Thanks....thing is, I really do have a good situation. I can definitely visit with my baby (have a home office downstairs) and can pop down (most days) not just for lunch but to feed him. But what sucks is that my first two days are full day meetings where I won't be able to do either.
To the poster who said that motherhood is a job with pros and cons like any other...I know that of course. But I would prefer to take the ups and downs of being home with DS than being at work. Hands down. And I'm sure of it. DH would love for me to stay home but we just can't swing it. I should stop complaining. My office is at home, I can see the baby lots, have a great and committed father who will be at home during the day. I just want my days to be free to spend as much time with my kid(s) as I can before they grow up. Like I said, it's just a vent. I've talked to my DH about it before but I don't want to keep venting to him because he feels badly enough that he's not making much right now so the last thing I want to do is mope about my easy job. We've discussed it and he's willing to get a second job but that's not the right move for our family -- me working allows us to have the most time together as a family. So I need to suck it up. It's hard. |
Anonymous
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OP - sorry you don't want to go back but you can't really see clearly at this point. You can see the next month and how hard that it, but you may find you really love being a working mom. We have a similar set up in terms of flexibility - and I can't imagine not working. I would not have said that first week back to work though. Now I realize I'm a better mom because I work - my child sees DH more because I work, etc.
I'm not saying you don't know yourself, but things change and I don't think you can see clearly when you've been in a baby bubble for the past few months. Give it a few weeks, vent about going back, feel sorry for yourself, but be open to the possibility that you may enjoy being a working mom. |
Anonymous
| Give it a really good try- a few months. Then you'll know if it's right - the perfect balance seems different for every mom. Many of my friends got right back into being happy with their full-time work within a month or two or returning. I waited for that to happen and when it never did and I found myself pregnant again, I quit for a part-time position. It's perfect for me. The first few weeks or months are hard but after a while you'll know hat you have to do, one way or the other. |
Anonymous
| OP, I don't know if this helps you, but if you REALLY want to know when it gets crazy, it is when they start school. Like, K and on. THAT is when you want to be home. Start to plan with your DH for THOSE years... |
Anonymous
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Going back is hard, whether you want to go back or not. Your situation sounds pretty good overall. You might look at those first two days of meetings as a good thing in that they'll keep you occupied for the entire day and you won't be able to get REALLY sad that you're missing the baby. (When i go back, i always prefer to be swamped because it helps distract me and the tears.)
Give it a few months and see where you are emotionally, then adjust accordingly. Good luck! |