D your elderly parents think you are the crazy one?
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Anonymous
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Every step of the way, I am the dramatic nut in their eyes. One of them clearly was declining and it was affecting everyday functioning more and more. I was the nut jumping up and down insisting they see a neurologist. All I kept hearing is how ridiculous I was being and I was imagining things were worse than they were. When this parent FINALLY saw a neurologist and got an MRI it was clear as day we had a big issue.
It has been like this with so many things. There is a big train coming toward them and I am the crazy one yelling "Move aside before it runs you over!" My siblings live in denial. I am so sick of being chicken little, but my parents will wait until everything falls apart to deal with anything. Anyone relate?? |
Anonymous
| I can sort of relate with my MIL. But I have to say that the reaction of my husband’s side of the family is basically to say oh well, it’s her life to live. That’s never how my own family has worked but I kind of get it. If your parent really doesn’t want to take on any procedures or medicines to fix a problem, then isn’t it fundamentally up to them? Are you concerned with how they will be a burden to you, or with them posing a danger to others in some way? If the danger is all to themselves, they have the right to denial, as painful as it is to watch. |
Anonymous
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Yes. Can completely relate. My mom told me: "you always make everything worse."
My sibling would not believe me and doubted that my parents were as bad off as I told him they were. Family members fed his view, my parents pretended nothing was wrong. Everything had to completely fall apart and one parent died before I was believed. I'm sorry OP. I am still trying to physicially and mentally get over the situation, it really did a number on me. Do everything to help yourself get the rest and help you need. It's hard when everyone gaslights you and makes like things are wonderful. Wish I had documented everything with photos or video, which may have been the only thing they would have been able to believe. |
Anonymous
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Op, did the MRI prevent the train from coming at your parent? Or is the problem you saw now just confirmed?
What was the benefit of having the neurological tests? |
Anonymous
OP here. long story. There have been many trains, some which have hit them. Sorry to be so vague. A lot of problems could have been prevented and others would not be so bad if they would wake up and deal. In response to another person, yes the burden falls on me since I live closest so if things explode I am the one picking up the pieces. Yes, in one case there was the potential to be a danger to others and I was the nut who prevented that. I dread going through it with my other parent who may be on the decline from sll the stress of dealing with what little reality she is willing to face. |
Anonymous
OP here. I so relate to parts of this and I could see my mother saying this. My sibs also live in denial land. You gave me an idea-videos. I can say it's for memories which it is, but it also can be proof. I am sorry for your loss and all you are processing. |
grace4ever
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| Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. I am truly sorry for what you are going through. I think that you already know the answers and what you need to do now. I want to tell you that even in the deepest darkness there’s always hope. It was good that you made the effort to convince your parents to see the neurologist. That speaks very well of you. I encourage you to understand when some people an older age get stubborn. I’m sure that you have to deal with a very tough situation however I commend you for your efforts make your siblings aware of this situation. Maybe that after the results of the tests of your parent all of you can speak to see how can help your parent in this tough moments. Please that the anger and resentment do not blind you to do things to help in this issue. Have you ever thought of forgiving your parent, siblings, situations and yourself? Forgiveness does not mean that your parent, siblings are doing right. Forgiveness means that you let the problem go. In spite of this situation your parent needs your support, patience and understanding in this difficult moments. Sending you hugs and I will keep you, your parents and relatives in my prayers, my friend. .-keep us posted, OK? |