Getting involved when there is an expiration date
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Anonymous
| I’m divorced, started dating again this year. I’ve been dating a man for almost three months now. He’s also divorced, early 50s. I’m in my mid-40s. We hit it off from the start. Great chemistry, lots in common, similar interests. We hold hands every moment we can. We started sleeping together and the sex is terrific. From the beginning he was upfront about the fact that he could be moving back to his home city. I feel fortunate to be experiencing such a fun, loving relationship but have also started kicking myself for getting so emotionally involved. He said he’s in love with me and I’m with him. I’m enjoying this, I went into it with my eyes open but still.... I just feel Like I’ve set myself up for heartbreak if he really leaves. Is it possible for me to just go with this, enjoy it for what it’s worth and see what happens or did I just make a big mistake? I had a pretty unemotional marriage, my husband was never affectionate at all and I’m enjoying this relationship so much. |
Anonymous
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Only you can decide if you have the emotional fortitude to live in the moment and enjoy what happening now with little concern for the future.
Keep in mind, relationships with an expiration date often have an extra charge and spark because there is an end date. So that honeymoon phase will be higher and longer. |
Anonymous
| I’ve just been in a similar situation. All I can tell you is to enjoy it all but start preparing yourself emotionally for his departure. Worst case, he doesn’t move but if he does, you won’t be as hurt if you expect it as a certain. Take the relationship for what it is and don’t waste a moment. I’ve been there... |
Anonymous
| Where is the home town? Would you consider moving? |
Anonymous
| Some people live in fantasyland |
Anonymous
| Dont say that PP. Its hard enought to find a person you will click..on many many levels. |
Anonymous
| Do u have kids? How old? |
Anonymous
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Why are you worrying about something that isn't a definite yet? He could very well just have said that as a way to have an out at the beginning of the relationship.
Anyway, no point in worrying now. |
Anonymous
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I've done this before. I was involved with someone for almost a year that was here on a diplomatic assignment from the UK, and was likely going to go back after the year was over. We ended up breaking up for reasons other than geography before the time came and ironically he ended up working here for another two years before eventually returning home.
Honestly, I don't regret it. I haven't had the greatest time dating, but he treated me wonderfully, was kind, and was an incredibly interesting person. I just enjoyed the experience for what it was and am a better person for having known him, even though things ended somewhat poorly between us. |
Anonymous
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OP, just enjoy it. Don't put up emotional barriers because of the might happens. I mean, he could drop dead tomorrow too. or get hit by a car. or...you get it. Love each other and enjoy that while you have it, deal with the rest later.
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Anonymous
| From your title I was sure he had terminal cancer or something. |
Anonymous
| So, yes, he was honest with you - he told you that he may put his need to move home above the relationship. And, yes, only you can decide if that’s a deal breaker situation. The fact that you’re so unsure about what you want likely means you’re really not ready for something super long term, so you probably should just enjoy it while it lasts. But, again, only you can decide. |
Anonymous
| Sucks to be you, OP. Try to have fun with it as long as you can. |
CodingMom
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| That is a tough question... If it were me, I would be praying for direction.. But I am in early 40's and met a man who I have just moved closer to and we are connecting well also. And I am still praying for direction... |
Anonymous
| I did this, but I was the one leaving. We split up when I moved, but decided to try long distance a few months later. A year after that, he moved to be with me. We’ve since relocated together to an entirely new location. You never know how things will end up, so enjoy it while it’s here. |