Spin off of the too friendly with my husband thread
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Anonymous
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My DH is a friendly guy and I've felt similar ways as the "too friendly with my DH" poster. DH has always said in the work environment he has always exuded a positive, friendly attitude and woman have acted really friendly smiling to him as well. Nothing has ever happened.
As a married women, what exactly do you think is appropriate in terms of your DH's interactions and behaviors with other women or men at work? Would like to see what the majority think... |
Anonymous
| He should be professional but friendly. My DH is smart enough to know where to draw the line as he is in a very senior position. He understands that the tone is set at the top and that a company rumor mill can churn easily. He does say that the days of innocent joking are over because of PC sensibilities but he understands it and accepts it. Years ago we worked together at the same company for over two years before we ever dated (I asked him out) and he was always friendly but very professional to me and the other women in the office. |
Anonymous
| In the age of metoo, any man who discusses anything other than work with a woman in the workplace is a fool. You can be friendly, about work topics. |
Anonymous
| My office is a very friendly atmosphere although we are all very hardworking. It’s a county government office by as a whole we are all friends, often hang out outside of work, have been invited to each other’s weddings, etc. We have one inter office couple and despite the friendliness no affairs that I know of in the 10+ years it’s been this way. Since I am a firsthand witness that yes, men and women can indeed work together and be strictly friends, I have no issues with my DH being friendly with others and he has no issue with me either. His field of work overlaps with mine and he is friends with my co workers, even the females. There have been times they/we text jokes, etc., one on one, and it’s been totally fine. Never anything I wouldn’t show him on my phone if he asked. But we trust each other and aren’t threatened by anyone else. If you have a healthy relationship with trust and respect, I disagree with the DCUM default position that opposite sex friendships are predisposed to becoming affairs. That’s the position of a person who is insecure, threatened, and lacks trust in their partner. |
Anonymous
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It's fine, OP.
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Anonymous
| If he is friendly to the women he works with in the same way that he is friendly to the men he works with, it's fine. That means he shouldn't be flirting with anyone, etc. Some people are friendly and outgoing, and that's great. |
Anonymous
| stop being controlling. you would never tolerate this if the gender roles had been reversed. |
Anonymous
| I think it depends on the person. I certainly don't have the same relationship with everyone in my office. I recently moved firms, so I don't have anyone here that I'm close with, but I had a very close friend of the opposite sex at my previous job. We definitely had a relationship that was on a different level than the ones I had with any of my other co-workers, so I don't think it makes sense to lump everyone together. However, as a general rule, I would tell a guy to watch it because you never know what might upset someone. |
grace4ever
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Thank you for sharing your post with us. It is ok to be friendly and polite with others but he needs to realize that he now is married to you. He needs to be more prudent do not be too much close towards other women because he is now married. The relationship between husband and wife is exclusive and there’s no third party. I would encourage your husband to set boundaries of how to interact with his colleagues especially towards women to avoid gossip, flirting, and temptations of infidelity. While you do not see nothing suspicious I encourage you to trust in your husband and keep the communication, affection and dialogue with him. Marriage counseling or therapy can be helpful to work through things like this. You and your husband are valuable and worth of fighting for. Please let me tell you my friend that you are not alone. Maybe you can take out good of this situation that you have to deal with. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers my friend.-keep us posted, OK?
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Anonymous
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I expect my husband to manage his interpersonal relationships. Period. I don't manage them for him and he does not manage my interpersonal relationships for me. I don't have an opinion on how often he can smile at women, how friendly he can be, how much he can "lunch" or any questions of that kind.
He works in a very female centered profession (social work) and I work in a very male profession (law). Paranoia and hair splitting of this kind would never work for us. |