Anonymous wrote:

sparky wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the RD decisions come out yet? Why not wait until you hear a decision answer from Chicago?

But really getting deferred ED from Chicago may be a blessing in disguise. If you are already in at UVA and money is not an Issue, I say go there. Chicago would be 3x the cost and a divorce may muddy the financial waters as well over the next year. If so, you can apply for Aid at UVa which would be easier for years 2-4. And possibly take classes at nova cc.

I'm an Echols scholar, so I'll probably graduating in 2~3 years max. I have always wanted to go to Chicago and I don't care that much about paying 100000 off later (plan on going onto a high paying job; investment banking)

"I don't care much about paying 100000"

- you can plan all you want about a high paying job, but that is a serious amount of debt.

Here's what you know about yourself: 1) when you were 17, you handled pressure poorly, acted out and made your troubles worse, and undermined any opportunities for better recs.. 2) you have no plan for your gap year. 3) You don't have much money.


I don't hold out much hope that this gap year will achieve miracles.

Sounds to me like you should just go to UVA. UC will still be there for grad school. I truly hope you weren't expecting your poor mom to cosign those loans.

Money isn't a concern here. My mom's family is pretty well off

You realize how entitled this sounds, right? It's not your money. An adult would take responsibility for spending any family money wisely. Someone likely worked hard for that money, even if it wasn't you.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a little surprising to see Dartmouth ED on your list if your heart is set on Chicago. These schools do not seem to have very much in common.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have your mind made up on taking a gap year. Not sure why you’re posting this question, especially during a school day.
Even though your mom has/will inherit money, being prudent with the money would behoove you. A nice retirement nest egg would be nice to leave her. I wouldn’t be so flippant.

Anonymous wrote:whatever you do and wherever you go, I'm sure you'll be very successful at annoying most people along the way.

sparky wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher and I'm usually a big fan of gap years (my own two oldest kids both took gap years and had great experiences), but as you probably know, the standard advice is to apply during your senior year and then take the break. I've known only a couple of kids who applied to college during gap years and outcomes were not optimal in either case. I'd say that's likely to be the case with you as well, particularly since you allude to some behavioral incidents at school. And you'll have to give up the UNC and UVA acceptances, you know. That's putting a lot on the roll of the dice (especially the Echols Scholarship -- congratulations on that!).

Moreover, as you acknowledge, you don't have a burning passion for taking a gap year. Your motivation is simply that you want to to take another shot at UofC. I do understand that UofC has a distinctive culture (although that's changing a bit) and for some students it might seem like the only place where they'll find their tribe. But UVA and UNC are both big schools with diverse student bodies -- you'll find your people on either campus.

Finally, and maybe most important, you need to get some distance from your family situation. You've already seen the damage it's causing you -- behavior problems at school, applications fouled up. Get out now, go to UVA and move on. If you get there and find that it's not the right fit culturally, work hard, get the best grades you can first year and then transfer -- you'll have a good shot at UofC, especially since the HS behavior will be farther in the past and you'll have recs from first-year profs at UVA.

Good luck and take care of yourself!

It's not for solely UofC, but I might do the first year transfer plan. I am planning on contacting a UofC alumnus professor to potentially do a research project with him

Anonymous wrote:

sparky wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher and I'm usually a big fan of gap years (my own two oldest kids both took gap years and had great experiences), but as you probably know, the standard advice is to apply during your senior year and then take the break. I've known only a couple of kids who applied to college during gap years and outcomes were not optimal in either case. I'd say that's likely to be the case with you as well, particularly since you allude to some behavioral incidents at school. And you'll have to give up the UNC and UVA acceptances, you know. That's putting a lot on the roll of the dice (especially the Echols Scholarship -- congratulations on that!).

Moreover, as you acknowledge, you don't have a burning passion for taking a gap year. Your motivation is simply that you want to to take another shot at UofC. I do understand that UofC has a distinctive culture (although that's changing a bit) and for some students it might seem like the only place where they'll find their tribe. But UVA and UNC are both big schools with diverse student bodies -- you'll find your people on either campus.

Finally, and maybe most important, you need to get some distance from your family situation. You've already seen the damage it's causing you -- behavior problems at school, applications fouled up. Get out now, go to UVA and move on. If you get there and find that it's not the right fit culturally, work hard, get the best grades you can first year and then transfer -- you'll have a good shot at UofC, especially since the HS behavior will be farther in the past and you'll have recs from first-year profs at UVA.

Good luck and take care of yourself!

It's not for solely UofC, but I might do the first year transfer plan. I am planning on contacting a UofC alumnus professor to potentially do a research project with him

Sparky, this is me again -- the teacher who posted above. Are you talking to a counselor about your family and school situation? I urge you to find a counselor and get some help working through these issues. Whether or not to take a gap year, whether or not to transfer -- these are important questions, but not as important as getting some help in dealing with your family meltdown, your estrangement from your father, and your relationships with your peers. Ask for help in identifying a counselor -- ask your school counselor or a teacher or your doctor, if you have one, or your mom if she can cope with this. You're carrying a heavy burden and you don't have to do this alone.

sparky wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the RD decisions come out yet? Why not wait until you hear a decision answer from Chicago?

But really getting deferred ED from Chicago may be a blessing in disguise. If you are already in at UVA and money is not an Issue, I say go there. Chicago would be 3x the cost and a divorce may muddy the financial waters as well over the next year. If so, you can apply for Aid at UVa which would be easier for years 2-4. And possibly take classes at nova cc.

I'm an Echols scholar, so I'll probably graduating in 2~3 years max. I have always wanted to go to Chicago and I don't care that much about paying 100000 off later (plan on going onto a high paying job; investment banking)

"I don't care much about paying 100000"

- you can plan all you want about a high paying job, but that is a serious amount of debt.

Here's what you know about yourself: 1) when you were 17, you handled pressure poorly, acted out and made your troubles worse, and undermined any opportunities for better recs.. 2) you have no plan for your gap year. 3) You don't have much money.


I don't hold out much hope that this gap year will achieve miracles.

Sounds to me like you should just go to UVA. UC will still be there for grad school. I truly hope you weren't expecting your poor mom to cosign those loans.

Money isn't a concern here. My mom's family is pretty well off