My brother wants my support; In trouble for not cheating
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Anonymous
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The wife is off her rocker for making him sleep on the couch, but BIL is a total moron for talking about it. He should have just told her how much he loves her and missed her and start doing whatever it is he thinks he can do to improve the romance in their marriage or whatever. And that is basically all he can do now is apologize and try to be extra helpful around the house, arrange for date nights or whatever she likes to make it up to her.
I'm a SAHM and would not be particularly pleased to hear about how DH was chatting with women at the hotel bar while I was at home wiping poopy butts and doing the dishes. Can't imagine if he added in the detail about being tempted to cheat, wtf! |
Anonymous
| Note to men: When your girlfriend/wife says that you can tell her "anything," don't believe it. This is the kind of thing that you talk about with one of your buddies. In general, women don't make good confidantes. |
ZachF
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| He sure is dumb. He better not ever cheat for real because he will be caught for sure. |
Anonymous
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Another vote for "your BIL is an idiot. But if his DW had a brain, she would realize he is too dumb to cheat. Many men would have gone for the ONS, and those men would never say a word.
However, his DW is also over reacting. The temptation to cheat lies in every man (I assume most women). |
Anonymous
| The wife's behavior is idiotic. So she is punishing him? What the f? That marriage is over. It's just a matter of time. You can not treat another adult like they are kid. |
Anonymous
Or maybe he wanted his wife to know that other women find him attractive. Maybe he feels like his wife takes him for granted, at least sexually and thought maybe it would rekindle a spark if she knew another woman wanted him. |
Anonymous
So you're truly only concerned about yourself. Nice. |
Anonymous
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OP, why are you so invested in this? Are you cheating and afraid that your BIL's actions will cause both your SIL and DW to become more suspicious and question your trips?
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Anonymous
He should not have told her and then immediately suggest they need to work on their relationship. That was a bit of a threat. Her reaction was appropriate. Would you suggest she had done? Shrug it off and say it's okay? That's practically an invitation to cheat. It would have made him think that she doesn't care, doesn't think he's desirable, etc. So dumb to admit to flirting and expect a pat on the back for not sleeping with her. And now his wife will always worry when he travels. |
Anonymous
| Everyone involved sounds immature. Y'all deserve each other. |
Anonymous
| Some thing like that happened to me many years ago. I was at a conference and ran into an old female colleague and late at night we had a couple of drinks. She asked me if I'd walk her back to her room and I said fine. When we got there she invited me in and I said a polite no. I never told my wife or anyone else until now. What was the upside? |
Anonymous
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I totally get the impulse to tell your spouse. She's your BEST FRIEND and you want to share it with her.
But he shouldn't have. He should have shared it with you, OP, and you could have told him to approach it differently. But he didn't do that. He needs to regroup, go back to his wife, apologize profusely, and reiterate that he loves her, finds her super sexy and then he should rip her clothes off. And then, they need to talk about making their relationship stronger. Some PP up there said he should talk about what HE was going to do to make their marriage stronger and avoid these situations. Yes, BIL's wife is probably worried because she never would have known if he f'd somebody else. And she had stopped finding him desirable, but hey, maybe he is a little bit hot. And it would be VERY easy for him to step out and then even walk out. But, that said, I always want to tell DH when somebody is chatting me up. But it is kind of a little bit of bragging because it makes me feel good and I neeeeeed to tell somebody. |
Anonymous
Yup, this. You can tell her "anything" but make sure it's not something that will make her feel insecure or sow seeds of doubt. They have elephant memories when it comes to that stuff. |
Anonymous
| Back in the 90's I was at a week long "touchy feely" conference where you were teamed up with 6-8 other people and all complete strangers. After 4 days you knew more about them then you ever wanted to know from "sharing". And it was pretty clear that some of the people at the conference were pairing up late at night. After the final late night closing dinner one of the men in my group told me that "he wanted to give me pleasure". Seriously! I was like whoa, get me out of here! I did tell my husband and at no time did he question my behavior but he did want to kill they guy. He knew that I would never lead someone on but he did say that I was so friendly and such a good listener that after a few days with a small group at such a BS seminar that something like that could happen. It was such a long time ago that I can't recall thinking about should I tell him or not. I guess I simply thought it was funny....and crude....and obviously I wasn't worried that he would blame me. But ever since I've been aware that being too friendly and too good a listener can potentially send the wrong signals. My DH has never told me if he's been hit on but he probably has been as he's very good looking and successful. I think I need to ask him and report back! |
Anonymous
| Days on the couch will make the next conference proposition look that much more attractive. |