I would appreciate any tips. We no longer live in the same city. I am not friends with him on social media etc. We were never friends online so I did not have to defriend him etc. I started going to yoga classes every evening since I broke things off. Yoga is definitely helping me. It gives me something to do.
He said our connection wasn't strong enough for marriage and it hurt me so much. He took it back right away. I don't get it. We were together for 3 years. I don't know what he meant by saying we don't have a connection. I was really attached and happy with him. We had a really good sex life. I was always so happy to see him etc. I haven't had this connection with many guys and it hurts so much. He basically told me he's been faking a connection for 3 years. I know I deserve better than him and I have to move on. |
Get under someone else. |
I'm so sorry OP. I can't believe someone would be "faking it" for that long, but I can believe someone might just say that, in order to break things off firmly and completely. People say all kinds of things when they break up and its not always true. If you live in different cities it could be that he has met someone else and wants to cut ties that way. The yoga is a great idea. Also time. Take one day at a time and keep looking after yourself and being healthy. |
What helped me was undergoing some severely painful life experiences after breaking up with a guy who I thought I really loved. All the cr*p I went through made me really forget him, or rather it made me realize that he wasn't all that I had thought he was.
Luckily, 9 months after the breakup I met the man I would end up marrying, and DH is my soulmate. So - other types of pain helps you forget breakup pain. Other types of pain also make you realize your love for the ex was an illusion because you didn't know yourself that well. |
Running is good therapy for me. I have cried on a lot of runs, not the same as yoga for some reason. Run to sad or angry songs if you wish. Join a local group and sign up for events. It will give you something to look forward to and who knows, you may even meet someone... new friends or other. |
OP -- make some awesome playlists for your workouts. I always liked singing, "feeling stronger every day" by chicago.
Also, remember, he actually did you a favor by telling you now vs. at the alter, after the first child, after you find out he cheated, etc... You now can find the person you should be with, so get out there and learn a new skill. I actually learned how to swing dance because I had to go to so many weddings. I suddenly found my "dance card" full. Find something you always wanted to do and go out and do it or learn it. You got this! |
Ugh- that sucks OP!!! I'm sorry.
Get involved in as much as you can- keep busy. |
T.I.M.E heals all things~ |
Time, and keeping yourself occupied. Get healthfully "obsessed" with something--marathon training, taking a cooking class, planning an amazing girlfriend vacation, writing a novel.
Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. The day will come when you don't even remember what his birthday was. |
Guy here... Sorry that you're going through a painful process. Been there and it sucks. Ex GF of three years ended it and was engaged within six months of us breaking up.
You may not see it, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. If there's any place you wanted to visit, go. Focus on you. Take care and I wish luck... |
Imagine they're dead. Grieve. Then do what people must do in that situation, they move on. It takes time. Chances are they aren't really the same person now that you've been spending time missing. |
Op here: This is a great idea. I will look into this. |