Like Jerry Maguire, I can't be alone
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Anonymous
| I'm very newly separated and certain I want to divorce. I know I'm in no position to date, but am already feeeling the urge to! I'm realizing that for the past twenty years (I'm 31), I have either had a crush, been dating someone, been someone's girlfriend, been sleeping with someone, been getting over someone, or been a wife. How can I learn to be contentedly alone? |
Anonymous
| Get a dog and a vibrator. (Do not use together, for obvious reasons.) |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Don't get a boyfriend. No dating for a year.
Instead to the following Get a therapist instead and figure out why you need to be in a relationship to be complete. Get a cat to give you something to do. Get some toys for your pleasure. Do something you feel you couldn't do because of your boyfriends. |
Anonymous
| Really? How about she meet some men? You don't need cats or meetup to find men. Toys aren't relationships. They are awesome, of course. |
Anonymous
| Why fight it? Embrace it. |
Anonymous
| This is really self-defeating, OP. |
Anonymous
What do you mean? |
Anonymous
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Ehh it's not the worst thing in the world. As long as it's not you always changing for the guys. I am a really great wife and was a really great girlfriend. I always knew who I was though and didn't change myself in relationships.
On the other hand, I do see friends who change drastically when they date other men and I think there's a big problem with that. |
Anonymous
| By getting your own identity. Therapy will help. |
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| Consider leaving all to just be alone; just be you; just be in the moment; just start to ponder what it is you are running from. |
Anonymous
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OP! I try to not bombard DCUM with all of my thoughts and some days I just walk away from the keyboard knowing someone else is going to come along and post what I'm feeling. Thank you!
I've been separated for 8 months. I jumped right back into dating, too. I have that Jerry Maguire itch. There are several threads about online dating in the past few months, and the theme is that you do it, but you take breaks often, because it's exhausting, and you have to go on a lot of first dates to find even someone quality to date for a short while. I will meet up with a couple of guys, have a really bad and draining experience, and close down my profile and regroup for a month or so (until I get lonely). I say put yourself out there, because there's a lot of trial and error if you haven't been doing online dating in it's current form. What you say in your profile attracts different kinds of guys. I picked wrong in my marriage and stayed in a previous LTR when I shouldn't have. So, I'm using these experience to learn how to pick dates well and pick a long term partner well. I am seeing red flags earlier and I am not getting wrapped up in relationships that aren't good for me. I hope by the time my divorce is final that I've learned enough about myself and about men/dating that I can start to look for my next long term relationship and make it a wonderful one. |
Anonymous
| LOL at the self-pleasuring cat ladies looking for a new recruit! |
Anonymous
I never understand this advice. With the exception of sleeping around, what can you not do when you have a boyfriend/husband? |
Anonymous
I agree. If there is something you can't do that you want to, but your relationship is standing in the way .... you need to get out. |