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Twins in separate classes? Is this good or bad?
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Anonymous
| Anyone with twins? My boys will be in separate classes. They are only two. I wanted them to be together. They rely on each other, but the director thinks it is best to have them apart. They will only see each other when they play outside. I am getting stressed, but director hasn't changed his mind. |
Anonymous
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I don't know how much this means, but here it is: My sisters are twins. One sister has twin girls who are going into first grade now. My sister is also a teacher, and she is keeping them together for now. She thinks as they get older, she may have them separate...I think she and my other sister might have had a decent amount of rivalry/"twin issues" and they both feel they might have done better as pre-teens in different classes. But at 2--I would want them together, for sure. |
Anonymous
| I don't have twins, but I think I'd prefer them staying together at such a young age. Separating them later probably is wise on a lot of levels. But 2 sounds premature. |
Anonymous
| Where do you live? In some states, such as VA, there is a law that says that parents get to decide whether or not twins (or other multiples) are separated or in the same class. I cannot remember what the law is called, but someone in my multiples group recently sent out an update when VA passed the law. You know your children better than anyone else. |
Anonymous
| They should be together if the parent requests it. The parent knows best in this situation. |
Anonymous
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I would suggest you ask this question on a twim specific board, Mont Co Parents of Multiples is a great group, for example. Similar groups in VA, most DC parents of twins belong to MCPOM.
Depends on the kids of course. A rule of thumb is together until Kindergarten or 1 st grade, separate after that. There have been cases of undiagnosed learning difficulties with one twin, because he/she is relying on twin to assist in completing/translating classroom work. But at 2 years old, most twins are together. Good luck. |
nava_edelen
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Hi, I am director of Chevy Chase Reggio, a preschool for ages 2-5. I am also the mother of twin daughters and we have a set of twins in our program currently. In my opinion, it is very healthy to keep the twins together during preschool. Most likely they will be separated when they enter kindergarten anyway. Twins in particular have a special bond together and keeping them together builds their confidence. That said, however, it is very important that the preschool teacher builds their independence and does not lump the two of them togehter for every exercise. One advantage of having them together is to notice when one twin is overly dominant over the other. If they were separate, it would be more difficult to notice this and guide them toward a more balanced relationship. When its time for kindergarten, I do agree it is appropriate to separate them.
By the way, we have a couple of spaces in our September class. Our next open house is Saturday, August 15 from 10 am to 1 pm. Please stop by or call for a special tour during the week. My phone is 301-951-1885 or email to info@ChevyChaseReggio.com Patricia |
Anonymous
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Hi. My twin boys will be separated when they start preschool in the fall as well. They'll be 33 months old. I'm a little worried about them having to adjust to being separated from each other as well as their parents. But I also think (hope) it will be better for them to be separate in the long run, especially for the "less dominant" twin. One factor weighing in favor of separating now for me is that they will be in a mixed-age montessori program, so keeping them together now, but separating them later (at least before preschool ends) would mean another transition to a different class for one of them later on. To be honest, I had not been particularly stressed about it because I'm a twin myself and do not remember any particular trauma being in a separate nursery school class from my twin brother, although we may have been a little older. Reading these posts, however, I'm more worried about it now. But the school has promised flexibility, so I plan to try and watch how they do, and if I think they'd do better together, ask for that to happen. But I expect it will be difficult to tell....
Best of luck. |
Anonymous
| I think it's a bad sign that you disagree with the director on something this fundamental already, and worse, that she's imposing her opinion over yours. I'd reevaluate your day care choice. |
Anonymous
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I have 3 year old g/b twins. We're keeping them together for 3 year old preschool and likely for pre-k as well. Current plan is to separate them for kindergarten.
However, I can't say that they were all that reliant on each other during the past year of 2 year old preschool. It wasn't as if they clung to each other or played only around each other. Honestly, they pretty much ignored each other at school whereas they are now glued to each other at home. I like the idea of keeping them together during these early years but I really haven't noticed any behavior that would indicate that wouldn't thrive in separte classrooms from the getgo. |
Anonymous
| Two classes is a great decision. The boys need to be on their own. As an educator I never allow twins in the same group/class. They argue, feed off each other, finish sentences and rely on ecah other too much etc....Every other 2 year old manages. In the "big picture" of life...they will survive. Don't worry, it will all work out. Try not to stress. If you don't like the decision take your twins to a school that allows them to be together. ( but odds are the separation won' be easier at an older age) |
nava_edelen
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Now, speaking as a mother of twins (not as director of Chevy Chase Reggio ), age 2-4 is too young, in my opinion, to separate twins in preschool. Sure they would survive and get through it if you put them in different classes but I think keeping them together helped my girls gradually find their independence.
Patricia |
Anonymous
| We are looking into the issue also for our twins - what I have read from book and parent suggestions from MOMs is to keep them together when they are younger but separate them before 2nd/3rd grade so they can have their own identity free of their twin. Most agree it depends on the twins relationship as they get older. |
Anonymous
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PP from 08/10/2009 16:11. I think the one thing that's clear (as usual) is that all children are different and reasonable minds can differ. As someone else pointed out, the most important thing is that the school is respecting your decision--you know your children best. FWIW, (I asked my mom) my twin brother and I were 3, but a month away from turning 4, when we started nursery school in different classes. I remember no issues from it, and my mom remembers no negatives from our being in different classes.
As both a twin and a twin mom, I am curious why people think it would be so problematic to split twins. I do understand (and am concerned about) the fact that it's one more separation--in addition to separation from mom/dad, other sibling(s), other caregivers--that they need to deal with when starting preschool. But the responses seem to indicate that there is a level of concern beyond that. Someone mentioned "cases" of "undiagnosed" learning disabilities attributed to separation of twins--could you provide a source for that? |
Anonymous
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Why does it matter if they are separated? Would their separation anxiety be more than a singleton child spearating from their parents when going to daycare/pre-school.
If it causes emotional issues as a pp suggested, then what about all the other kids being "separated" from their parents at drop-off? With that said- I would not leave my child at a center where the director is not being reasonable without valid reasons. |