Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback everyone, even the snark--it's what makes DCUM so entertaining! I didn't claim to be an intellectual giant in my post, that's why I come to all of you --but thanks anyway for the input on my IQ and poor writing skills

For what it's worth, I work in human resources, live on my own and pay my own bills. I drive a very basic, inexpensive used car that I paid for myself. I actually drove the same model of car he drives now five years ago, so I am not a car snob. My issue with the car is that it did not bother him in the least that the car was excessively full of rotting, molding garbage when found it--as in it was treated like a garbage can. I think it's just a difference in standards between the two of us....

The guy's mother picked up the phone when I called the other day. She gave me the impression that her son is lazy and that working (a normal, full time job) is not a priority for him.

I like the three date rule---thanks for that idea...

I think it's just a difference in standards between the two of us.... 

Anonymous wrote:Big pluses - can fix up a car, fun, polite, interesting, close with his family

Possible minus - living with his parents. might be the sort who is looking for someone to take care of him. might just be a sensible financial move for a recent grad to save money. keep an eye out for basic self-sufficiency.

Anonymous wrote:For the second date, he wanted to make a good first impression. For his second, he felt comfortable enough that you would understand that he doesn't have a flashy car and opened up more. Sadly, you are shallow and judgmental. Don't see him again.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback everyone, even the snark--it's what makes DCUM so entertaining! I didn't claim to be an intellectual giant in my post, that's why I come to all of you --but thanks anyway for the input on my IQ and poor writing skills

For what it's worth, I work in human resources, live on my own and pay my own bills. I drive a very basic, inexpensive used car that I paid for myself. I actually drove the same model of car he drives now five years ago, so I am not a car snob. My issue with the car is that it did not bother him in the least that the car was excessively full of rotting, molding garbage when found it--as in it was treated like a garbage can. I think it's just a difference in standards between the two of us....

The guy's mother picked up the phone when I called the other day. She gave me the impression that her son is lazy and that working (a normal, full time job) is not a priority for him.

I like the three date rule---thanks for that idea...

Anonymous wrote:First of all, you are in your mid 20s. Buying a flashy car should not be a priority. In fact, for me it would be a red flag about priorities. I actually didnt even have a car between 28 and 28--lived in the city, etc.

Secondly, he has a car, and fixed it up. What's wrong with that? Shows motivation, skills, creativity, thriftiness. Good traits.

Third, I suspect that you maybe grew up in a wealthier neighborhood and your parents have paid for things: college, cars, cc bills, phones. Becuase if you were coming from lower/middle class and worked your way through college, this would not cause you to bat an eye.

Fourth, he sounds like a smart, motivated guy in a good field. He probably has big potential--perhaps more than you do, though I dont know your profession.

You need to decide: do you want to date a rich sugar daddy or asshole type who drives a flashy car? There are tons. Or do you want to date a lovely guy with whom you get along well who works hard to get where he is?


and, on a related note: a friend of mine met a guy online (in their 40s). showed up to the date in total beater truck. she remarked how great it must be to have a truck when you garden and did not raise an eyebrow. First couple dates, there was little to indicate 'status,' --just that he had a job in IT and lived in X suburb--they had a great time. went couple more dates. finally she discovers that he's also got a fancy expensive car, a beautiful home, probably a million or two investments, etc. She herself is successful and independent and didn't care too much about his situation, as long as he was stable and employed. and he was happy to weed out someone who was only interested in money.

Anonymous wrote:He and his dad fixed up a car together. Which would indicate...a good father son relationship? Automotive skills? Handiness? Run OP! Run as fast as you can!

Anonymous wrote:What would this be a red flag for? I don't quite get what you are asking. You sound like a total prima donna.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback everyone, even the snark--it's what makes DCUM so entertaining! I didn't claim to be an intellectual giant in my post, that's why I come to all of you --but thanks anyway for the input on my IQ and poor writing skills

For what it's worth, I work in human resources, live on my own and pay my own bills. I drive a very basic, inexpensive used car that I paid for myself. I actually drove the same model of car he drives now five years ago, so I am not a car snob. My issue with the car is that it did not bother him in the least that the car was excessively full of rotting, molding garbage when found it--as in it was treated like a garbage can. I think it's just a difference in standards between the two of us....

The guy's mother picked up the phone when I called the other day. She gave me the impression that her son is lazy and that working (a normal, full time job) is not a priority for him.

I like the three date rule---thanks for that idea...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback everyone, even the snark--it's what makes DCUM so entertaining! I didn't claim to be an intellectual giant in my post, that's why I come to all of you --but thanks anyway for the input on my IQ and poor writing skills

For what it's worth, I work in human resources, live on my own and pay my own bills. I drive a very basic, inexpensive used car that I paid for myself. I actually drove the same model of car he drives now five years ago, so I am not a car snob. My issue with the car is that it did not bother him in the least that the car was excessively full of rotting, molding garbage when found it--as in it was treated like a garbage can. I think it's just a difference in standards between the two of us....

The guy's mother picked up the phone when I called the other day. She gave me the impression that her son is lazy and that working (a normal, full time job) is not a priority for him.

I like the three date rule---thanks for that idea...

i call BS on the Mom badmouthing her son to a girl he's gone on three dates with???