Furious: Nasty run in at Giant
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Anonymous
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OP, why DID you mention the woman was African American?
I feel bad you had that run in. I would have started talking to your son out loud telling him how sorry you feel for him standing next to a crazy bitch who didn't take her meds. |
Anonymous
Why are you offended by the mention of race? Do you forbid your child to mention race? What is your fear? I grew up in Washington with both races. It's usually outsiders who have difficult issues with that. |
Anonymous
| I have no trouble with mentioning race when it's important to the story...just don't understand it here... |
Anonymous
Usually the person telling the story chooses what observations/details to include, not the control freak reading the story. |
Anonymous
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My mother mentions race all the time as a 'detail'. "I was sitting on a bench and some black man sat down by me.". "I was about to use the ATM and these black kids were behind me.". I am only questioning what 'details' the OP wanted to impart.
Signed the caucasion control freak |
Anonymous
No one much cares about what colour skin you were born with. Sorry. |
maynie
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Very interesting point. People do seem to see what they want sometimes. Is there a non-offensive way to find out if the OP or anyone else in a same sex partnership, with children, ever discuss this type of scenario as a part of adversities they may face? Having grown up in this area, this wouldn't even have registered for me as different just cause there's such a mix of people that live here. But they're always wackos out there. |
Anonymous
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They do here on this side of the pond in America, where we spell it 'color'.
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jsteele
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The OP's description was an "older African American lady". Why did the OP mention age? Why did she mention sex? Why didn't she just say "a homo sapiens in front of me..."? I'm just guessing here, but I'd assume that an "older African American lady" has suffered from a certain amount of intolerance and prejudice in her life, either because of her race, sex, or age (or even all three). As such, one would hope that the individual would be a little more sympathetic toward others. The fact that she wasn't probably increased the hurtfulness of the encounter. Whether the expectation of greater tolerance by this individual is fair is another matter entirely. |
Anonymous
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"Is there a non-offensive way to find out if the OP or anyone else in a same sex partnership, with children, ever discuss this type of scenario as a part of adversities they may face?"
As a parent of children who were all adopted and who have two moms, we talk about lots of adversities that our kids might face. We teach them that families are formed in many ways. Some people have kids, some people get kids. We teach them that families have all different make ups - a mom and a dad, two moms, two dads, two moms and two dads, step parends, one mom, one dad, a grandparent or aunt and/or uncle. We teach them how to respond to situations where kids in school make comments about their family status and that they can never make fun of anyone for the way their family was formed or who it includes. And, so much more. But, while we don't bury our head in the sand when it comes the the adversities our kids may face, the situation that OP described took me by surprise. I could never have conceived that in this day and in this area that anyone would have faced such a situation. After thinking about this all day, I'm still not sure what I could/would do to prepare my kids for something like this because I still cannot imagine being in this situation. I have no illusions regarding people's opinions of our lifestyle. But, the thought that someone would actually say something to one of my kids is still beyond my comprehension. |
Anonymous
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I'm sure the woman's race had little to do with her rant, however:
I am very sorry that you and your kid had to stand and listen to this. I think it is probably my biggest fear- and triggers some of that oh-so-fun internalized homophobia. I think I'd probably try (when feeling more calm) to sit down with the kiddo and talk about his feelings around what happened- with you and your partner. You can talk about how words can hurt, and it's ok to feel sad or mad. Then maybe talk again about how every family has differences, and how his is unique and special. Lots of love to you and your family. |
Anonymous
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Actually, mentioning that the person was A: older, B: a woman and C: African-American left me wondering why a person who has doubtlessly faced serious discrimination in her life would impart the same hatefulness on someone else, especially a child and family?
Honestly, I SO WISH that I could've been there, because I would've come to your defense so friggin' quickly.... |
Anonymous
As a guy, I'm not gay, but I'm a huge, active supporter of the gay & lesbian community. (I have a crush on Jewish lesbians  ) But seriously - if I was there, I would have stuck a cucumber up her ass.
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Anonymous
| back to the OP. I am so sorry this happened to you. I'm not sure what you could have done differently. It is upsetting to me to hear that no one stepped in to help you, that cashier and manager and other customers just stood there. if i had been there, i would have tried to come to your defense. i had an awkward situation at the barbershop once when one of the barbers asked my son if he also looked like his dad. i told him i didn't know since i used an anonymous donor. my son was about 2 at the time so he had no idea what was going on. there was absolute silence in the barbershop. the barber started to ask a few questions, grew pretty uncomfortable and just dropped it. he never went on a rant against me or my son thank goodness. we've gone back many times, and he's never brought it up again. |
Anonymous
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People of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds can be jerks.
I agree with a previous poster who mentioned how important it is to talk with our kids about what makes us unique and to help them understand that others may not (understand). As a bi-sexual mom in a mixed race relationship, it has been helpful to expose my daughter (at least to the concept) that not every one approves of my lifestyle. Being able to listen to dissenters, love them (as Jesus would have) will be the best gift you can give your little guy. Snippy comebacks are good, but self-confidence isn't about that. In the long run, your kid will be fine, because he knows you love him. That is much more powerful than anybody's disapproval |