was volun-"told" to give a speech at my mother's birthday party
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Anonymous
| I have several siblings and we are planning a party for my mother's 80th. Emails have been going around about making speeches/toasts, and one of my older siblings basically told me that I'd be giving a speech (I'm the youngest). Is it OK to say no? I don't like giving a speech just for the sake of giving a speech and the opportunity should be open to people who feel inspired to say something. My mom is great and wonderful but I just don't think a speech/toast is necessary. |
Anonymous
| How special for you! I know you will bless your mother sharing how she's been 80 years loved. ? |
Anonymous
| ^^ the ? Was entered as a heart... |
Anonymous
| I would just decline, they can do it if they want. |
Anonymous
| I think you should embrace it and get creative like make a slideshow with pics and music you can show or team up with a sibling and come up with something cute where you alternate. |
Anonymous
| I would decline. My mother wanted those dumb speeches at my father's retirement party and I said I wasn't giving one. |
Anonymous
This is an excellent idea. My son did this for his grandad's 80th. He collected photos for months for the slide show. I'm shocked at the selfishness demonstrated on this thread. |
Anonymous
 Not giving a speech isn't selfish.
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Anonymous
| Decline or make it very concise |
doodlebug
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Is there a particular reason you don't want to make a speech? Was she abusive or are you not close? Are you very introverted and don't like the spotlight? 80 is a big year and I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to give a short speech to say thanks for all the years of love and memories but if you're really against it, then go back to the sibling who assigned this task to you and explain why you don't want to do it. If you do the speech, you're certainly within your rights to open the floor to anyone who wants to share a memory.
When my grandmother turned 90, my mom had all the family write a story/memory and then she compiled them into a book for my grandma. It was a big hit (as was the party since it was a surprise and people flew in from several states away.) |
Anonymous
Of course it is. Choosing not to do something kind for another b/c . . . you just don't feel like it? Selfish. |
Anonymous
But isn't that what the older sibs are doing? They've decided a speech should be made, but they're putting it on op. If they think its a good idea, they should do it themselves. |
Anonymous
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You haven't told us why this is a big deal for you. Do your siblings have a history of pressuring you to do things? My mother is the youngest of 7 and she was put in that situation, which led to a lot of resentment. On the other hand, my husband forced himself to make a speech at his relative's funeral just because he saw that all his other siblings were making one. No one put him on the spot "exactly", but it would have been really weird for all the siblings to speak apart from him - as if he was protesting or something. So in a way he was pressured into it. My point is that you have to separate the delivery of the request, which may or may not be rude, from the actual need behind it. If you think it really makes sense for you to speak, please do so. It won't matter in the end whether your siblings were obnoxious about it. What matters is that you stood up at the funeral and people will remember your words. |
Anonymous
| Ack! I'm sorry, I meant to say birthday party! Got caught up with memories about my BIL's funeral. Apologies. |
Anonymous
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OP, don't think of it as a speech. Do a work-around. Just saw this in action, in lieu of a speech per se, ask a few close relatives, siblings, friends who may or may not be in attendance to relate their favorite "mom" story. Then you just read these aloud. Done! Pick and chose what to read!
One relative read a poem someone else wrote about his mom and everyone loved it. |