My New Year's resolution is to call every FB friend this year
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Anonymous
| OP, you have a fantastic writing style. I look forward to your next updates. |
Anonymous
| Thanks for the update "Jump". |
Anonymous
| I hope you are changing the names and some details. Interesting thread. I liked the flying one. |
Anonymous
| This is a great thread. Keep the updates coming Jump! |
Jump
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Yes. I AM changing names. But most of the people I'm talking about don't live here in the DC area.
Anyway, I've probably hit about 40 people so far. Of that, I'd say 20 have been people with whom I would probably not speak (definitely NOT speak) unless I had made this challenge to myself. Two months in, I guess my biggest take away is that people seem to really want to share the details of their lives with me, which I guess I find surprising. It's almost like they were waiting for someone to finally call them and ask "What have you been doing these last 30 years?" All I know is that I am continually amazed at the generosity of people to let me into their life story just because I asked. Another take away is that it pays to tell people the weird memories you have of them. Sometimes they laugh about it but have no idea what you're talking about. Sometimes there is a deep story behind it. A few weeks ago I chatted with a woman who I haven't talked to or seen since I was 15. The extent of my 'knowledge' of her was pretty thin -- I remember she was always a little bit hifalutin, and I remember she was in my group (the group of kids who took all the same classes, because the school lobbed kids together by performance). But I also remember she always wore the seersucker skirt and blue sweater. Our uniform had other choices -- there were 3 different colors of seersucker dresses, and I remember there was a grey skirt option, but she always wore the blue seersucker skirt. Anyway, I mention that to her, and it turns out she always wore the same skirt because her uniforms burned up one year at the dry cleaner and she only had one skirt left. You couldn't reorder uniforms until the summer. All of a sudden, the mental image I had of her felt totally different. Poor thing having to go 6 months wearing the same skirt, and surely hoping no one noticed. Then I mentioned to this guy I went to high school -- he was the class valedictorian -- I mentioned that I remember being outside once and singing that song, "My Baby Takes the Morning Train," and he kept correcting me because I didn't know the words. He didn't share this memory, but it was so nice to hear him laugh about the funny things I remembered about him. I'm sure for everybody, it is a real ego boost to know someone out there is still remembering odd little things about you 30 or 40 years later. |
Anonymous
| "Jump", maybe you addressed this at some point, but did you have everyone's number (or was it publicized on Facebook) to begin with, or have you had to ask for a majority of people's numbers? |
Jump
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Going back in time can help you sort out the real from the imagined.
I spoke the other day with Teresa, a girl with whom I went to middle school. There were actually two sisters: Teresa and Olive. Teresa was the older. Both were in my grade, as a consequence of Olive having skipped a grade in elementary school. The two were very different though, with Teresa being a social leader, charismatic, a bit domineering, and Olive being quiet and studious and an all around sweet girl. It was only 2 years that we actually crossed paths. By my ninth grade, they had moved to one of the tony towns in my home state, where the girls finished at the public high school. I remember so much about the girls and their family. To me, they were like the Gatsbys. They had this enormous Victorian house with expansive manicured lawns, a swimming pool, a tennis court. There were always dogs and cats running around the long pebbled driveway. One of them was a pitch black Saint Bernard named Tish. And there were always people -- aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins. The house always had life. One of things I remember was their wealth -- not just their big house, but the kinds of things that stuck out in the head of a 13 year old. I remember Teresa had a giant Hollywood style lighted mirror that took up an entire wall in her bedroom. Six people could sit along her vanity and do their makeup at the same time. One time, Teresa and I were sitting on her front stairs around Christmas time. She was telling me how her Nanna got her anything she wanted. She said, "If I told my Nanna right now I needed more Levi's for Christmas, she would go out and get me 10 pairs for Christmas." That struck me as so amazing. Ten pairs of Levis. I only had one pair of Levis corduroys, and I used to wear them for almost all my play occasions out of school. It created in me an immediate sense of longing and envy. I sat there thinking, "Why do I have only one stinking pair of Levis?" Of course, all of this is in the head of a 13 year old -- these imagined injustices and insecurities. Surely Nanna would NOT have gone out and gotten Teresa ten pairs of pants, and surely my wardrobe was completely sufficient for a girl who really needed few play clothes, being relegated every school day to a seersucker uniform. Anyway, there I am speaking with Teresa again after so many years. We had a deep talk, about our family secrets and family triumphs, our memories of course, our appreciation for happy childhoods. Anyway, in our relaying of memories, I told her this story about the pants. How much I envied her during that talk on the front stairs, because it seemed to me I had so few clothes, and indeed I think I only had one pair of Levis. And in an instant, Teresa replied, "The maroon ones, right?" Sigh. |
Jump
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I have to ask for them all! |
Jump
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Well, I realize I am just turning this thread into a blog. Which probably is annoying.
But just a check in, I'm chugging along, and so far I've only hit one person who clearly is NOT GOING TO GIVE ME HER NUMBER. I also think one guy may be dead. Otherwise things are going pretty well. |
Anonymous
| Have you ever considered that it is rude to call people just to blog about them? I would be pretty upset if you wrote about me or a friend sharing very personal details of their lives. You are using people for your own selfish needs. Please ask them if it is ok to post online before you do so. |
Jump
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I have thought about this, yes. So I haven't written about anyone from this area (or within hundreds of miles) and won't. And I have changed people's names and details and have tried not to give any details where anyone might be recognized by someone else (and I also have tried not to be hurtful). But I take your point. Still I liked sharing this in some way, and I guess I do like to write. |
Anonymous
| OP (Jump), is there an update? |
Anonymous
| Bumping this up to see if the OP has an update. |
Jump
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For some reason I thought about my FB challenge and remembered I had posted on it. OK, 2 years later, I thought I'd give an update.
No, I didn't complete my New Year's resolution. Not by a long shot. Do you know what happened? This is true. I stopped because of that poster (3/11 at 20:50) who said I was selfish to use people's stories for my own needs and it was not right to be blogging about people without their knowledge. For some reason, it took the wind out of my sails for the project. Isn't it weird how just a little criticism by a stranger could have so much impact? Maybe I'll start again. |
Anonymous
| So why not continue for personal reasons and not blog about them? It sounds like it was fulfilling for you. I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t know. If I got a voicemail from someone from the past I’d either call back or I wouldn’t. No harm in trying. |