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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Starting Adoption Process at Ages 41 and 42
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Anonymous
| My husband is 41 and I am 42, and we are just starting to look into adoption. Based on some preliminary research, I see that some countries appear to allow folks our age to adopt, although we would be nearing the age cut off by the time we made it through the process. I am wondering if people have practical advice about this age issue. I am aware of many examples of older people adopting, but I am not sure whether our ages will present a barrier. We would be interested in an infant-toddler aged child. Thanks for any input |
Anonymous
| Adopted a newborn at age 44. Domestically. |
Anonymous
|
Check out www.creatingafamily.com. Dawn Davenport has country charts that list things like age limitations. I don't know much about domestic adoption, but as far as international, China and Korea might post a problem for you. But, there are other options.
If I were to offer any advice beyond checking out the country charts it would be this. Get started on your paperwork and stick with it. My fastest adoption was 11 months, which is considered very quick in the world of IA. And it takes many people two or more years from start to finish. If you haven't figured out countries yet, you could also check out the adoption section of the Department of State's website and the website of the Joint Council on International Children's Services (www.jcics.com or .org). Good luck. |
Anonymous
|
For international adoption, the countries are changing all the time. But one thing to keep in mind the adoption agency may have additional
restrictions on age which the country does not, so check with other countries info. I noticed that for 1 country Barker had a age 45(or something like that) cut off for a newborn, but the country had an age 50 cut off. I would recommend going to information sessions from several local agencies, joining the yahoo group Adoption Agency Research and several other listserves. We were 49 when we adopted a child less than 1 year old. And maybe attending some conference on adoption if you are considering trans racial adoption. |
Anonymous
| My ex SIL adopted from Guatamaula-she's single and was over 40 when she adopted her first. She adopted her second child last Fall, and she's 50. |
Anonymous
| I don't see any issue with your ages - not that far off. Maybe if you were in your 60s... |
Anonymous
| I was 42 when I adopted my first child. It was a domestic adoption and my husband and I were at the hospital for my beautiful daughter's birth. We were active with the adoption agency for two months before we were chosen by the birth parents. We are in the process of our second domestic adoption. I'm now 43. |
Anonymous
| DH was 48 and I was 42 when we adopted our daughter, who was born in China, in 2001. She was 15 m.o. at time of adoption. I would echo advice given by PPs who noted that for int'l adoptions, rules can change very quickly, so pick an experienced agency with a strong track record, work closely with them and get your paperwork done fast. Good luck! |
khalverson
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|
I'm 40, and my husband is 42. We're in the process of adopting from Korea. We've been waiting for about a year now (our paperwork was in Korea in June 2008), and we expect a referral sometime this fall and then we will be united as a family 4-5 mos later.
Our caseworker did tell us that we need to get cracking right after we adopt our first, if we want to adopt from Korea again, b/c their cutoff age for the father is 44 (your paperwork must be in country before he turns 44--as long as that happens, you're good; my husband will turn 43 this fall). I'm pretty sure you won't be able to adopt from China (but look into their requirements). Russia. I think, allows your ages. Possibly Guatemala, although they are still closed right now. What about Ethiopia? That's a popular country these days and one that we are considering. In terms of "can you handle it" with your ages, yes, you can! Don't let your age stop you from adopting if you think it's the right thing to do for you and your family! I love being 40 and feel younger than ever (although I wish my metabolism would reflect that!). FYI: We are with Catholic Charities of Baltimore, and our international agency is Holt Korea: http://www.holtinternational.org/korea/choose.shtml |
Anonymous
|
China would be a good option, I believe. Although the waiting child process is faster than "non-special needs" process, both processes are at least a few years long after your dossier is submitted. If you go International, you may want to consider a multi-nation adoption agency in case the country you choose closes/changes criteria, etc.
Best wishes on whatever you both decide to do. Happy single mom (age 50) to 2 great children from China (ages 6 and 4 1/2) |
Anonymous
|
We adopted our son from Korea 1 1/2 y ago and now I'm 43 and husband is 40.
It took us only one year from time of application and getting him home!! We did all the paper work and finished home study in 6 months(you can do this even faster). Waited only two months for a referral for our son then waited another 3 months to travel to pick him up. i don't think it matters how old you are to become parents to any children except that some countries do have age limits. Our process was so painless that we feel truly lucky. If you want children, just do it!! good luck. |
Anonymous
| If you are thinking about adopting a child with a disability, I would like to make you aware of how "fixable" (even at older ages) the clubfoot disability is. I know this from 1st hand experience as my biological son was born with clubfoot. Additionally, through yahoo groups I have become aware of many families who have adopted children with this disability. The medical treatment is mostly non-surgical but many countries do not have the sepcialists to treat these children. |
Anonymous
| 13:36 suggested China. I would recommend against it. I'm waiting on a referral from China and submitted by paperwork in 2006. I think I MIGHT get a referral by 2012. If things don't slow down more. |
Anonymous
|
I'd look into Kazakhstan if I were you. The program is reasonably fast (assuming you pick the right agency) and most agencies have an age limit of 50.
I adopted a 7-month-old as a 50-year-old single last year. Many countries are open if you're under age 50. China is an option up to age 55 for special needs (like cleft palette), and special needs adoption from China is not the long long wait that non-special needs is. Haiti, Bulgaria, Armenia, Ethiopia, and Philippines are other places you may want to look into. Kazakhstan or Russia would currently be my first choice if I were to start right now, based on timeline and confidence in the program (and even quality of care, assuming again you pick an agency that is highly experienced and connected in the country). Also, the paperwork is not as cumbersome if you pick a non-Hague country like Kazakhstan and Russia (though they may change in the future). Also check out Taiwan and Korea's program. Join the Yahoo Groups for adoption for each particular country and you'll learn tons more from people currently in the process for each. |
Anonymous
| We were 39 and 42 when we started our adoption process with a domestic agency. I'd recommend exploring a domestic adoption. We worked with Abrazo Adoption Associates in Texas. THey work with birthmoms from TX, but with adoptive families from all over the country. Great agency! |