attractive but husband not that into me.. s/o ashley madison, low sex drives
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Anonymous
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The title says it all - I am by all accounts attractive, but for whatever reason my husband has just never been that into me sexually. For a while I suspected that maybe he was gay, but I don't think that is the case anymore. Either it is a low sex drive, he has some issue with me, or something that I can't figure out. We get along well enough otherwise. Should never have gotten married to him but that's water under the bridge at this stage, no point in going there. I am also well educated and successful, and I would like to think I have a good personality.
Whenever I am in a situation with lots of men around - usually commuting or going out to lunch - attractive guys look at me, smile, that kind of thing and I just feel so bad about where my life is at. I wish I was in a passionate relationship. I know that I could have an affair in two seconds, but I also know that it would be wrong. It just sucks to be in this position and I wonder how many men out there feel the same way, and then resorted to ashley madison. Is there anything to do here besides divorce, which I am not going to do? It is not worth ruining my children's lives so I can have a good sex life. |
Anonymous
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I hear you, OP. I feel the same way. I have always been a big believer in marriage and family, but with my husband so checked out it feels so empty. I even talked to my husband about it and he just sort of shewed me away saying "You know I think your beautiful." He might as well said "Run along." I know passion fades...I get it. But for us the passion is D-E-A-D, and my attraction to him is not far behind.
My solution, a heavy dose of fantasy...but the thought of a life sentence of fantasy is pretty depressing. |
MagicMike
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Alright OP and PP a threesome may work this out.. 
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Anonymous
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Can you be direct in telling him that your marriage can't continue without passion? Or that you would like to open up the relationship? Ask him if he has ideas?
I feel for you. I am in a similar situation. Luckily I didn't do Ashley Madison but I understand those who did. |
Anonymous
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Can you be blunt with him? My friend was in a similar situation. Husband not sexually into her, kind of apathetic in general really. Their marriage wasn't bad. They Got along well, they enjoye each other's company...but they were more friends than husband and wife. They didn't want to divorce because they still loved each other and they have kids.
They have an open marriage now. The understanding is that it's sex only, not a relationship. It's been about 15 years and works our really well for them. |
Anonymous
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Soooooo, have you talked with him about how you feel and have you asked him lots of questions to understand how he feels and have you been able to at least start a conversation about how you can both be happy maybe by making some compromises etc?
If not, I would definitely cover all those bases immediately. It could take awhile. |
Anonymous
| This is why sales of the Hitachi Magic Wand have been so high! |
Anonymous
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How is the sex you are having? Could he sense you aren't into him and he is withdrawing?
Sorry for your sitch. Sex is an essential glue in marriage |
Anonymous
Dw does not to want to use that. A good female friend of ours bought it for "us". And dw doesn't like it When I read these stories about wives not getting sex from their husbands just don't believe it. Or they are very rare It is one thing to never like sex with your husband. It is another thing to never like sex at all even by yourself. That is just wrong and a husband can't fix it We are separated and divorcing. Wasted too much of my life with a sexless woman |
Anonymous
| He needs to get his testoerone checked ASAP! DH Was low sex drive as well and he was tested. He was right at the lowest number. Two weeks of cream and he is Ready to go! Like he wants sex all the time. |
Anonymous
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See this post from the sexless marriage thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/494158.page Over time, attraction can fade for either spouse. |
Anonymous
I want to buy some for my husband. Is it prescription only? |