Avoiding high stress people during pregnancy
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Anonymous
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I'm having a complicated pregnancy. I'm also now on watch for pre-e, so I'm trying to reduce stress and follow doctors orders. It's likely I'll need bed rest. I check my blood pressure twice a day.
I have a few very high maintence people in my life. I grin and bear it, but their constant negativity gets me upset. Upset = stress which is bad for my blood pressure. I've tried to avoid and minimize. I told one friend who is very needy that I'm ill and can't get together. I avoid her calls or cut them short. But, she's not getting it and has launched an all out war because she feels I'm not giving her enough attention. Literally every outlet to the outside world is filled with her whining over me being a bad person for not wanting to spend time with her - Facebook, email, phone, text etc. It's very stressful and not healthy for me and the baby. I feel like I'm in a bad suspense movie where one friend goes psycho on the other. Has anyone else had to deal with people who react poorly to your pregnancy. How have you dealt with high stress people when they are literally the last thing you need. Just want to see if this is isolated cause she is crazy or if other people have had to cut ties during pregnancy. Thanks. |
Anonymous
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I am generally a no-drama person to begin with so I have very few stressful friends with or without being pregnant.
I also was pregnant during my last semester of law school and first semester of graduate school but I love school (I am a geek who loves taking exams) so it caused me no stress at all. What I am trying to say is that "stress" manifests itself differently with different people. If you are not someone who can let the cheap drama of other roll off your back then I would cut the friend loose. |
Anonymous
| I had to limit contact with a few high-stress friends during my pregnancy. I didn't even realize how much anxiety and stress they brought to our interactions before I was pregnant. My one friend would bombard me with questions about the pregnancy/motherhood (e.g., have you done X? have you done Y? and other things that I hadn't done). Do what you need to do to protect yourself and remove stress from your life. |
Anonymous
| You are a hot house Rate, rare orchid. Wrap yoursf in bubble wrap. Frankly, OP, I would think you are the biggest stress in your life. |
Anonymous
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Why are you friends with someone like that? Sounds like this pregnancy gave you a great reason to drop her like a hot potato.
Get off Facebook, or at the very least, drop her from your feed. Block the texts and stop reading the emails. Just let.her.go. Believe it or not, you do have control here. If you really don't want drama, OP, then act like someone who doesn't want it. |
Anonymous
OP here - she is literally stalking me. I've blocked her from everything. She finds new ways to harass.
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I generally am low drama. This isn't what I want in life. |
Anonymous
| Eh, I know how it is, you have a friend who can be great, but can also be high drama. Step one: decide that you are okay with them being pissed at you or reacting however they want. You do not care. And surround yourself with kind people who will distract you from the fact that there is this crazy person making noise in the corner of your life. Then just hang out with them less. Maybe have you (or DH) explain to her that you need to be taking it very easy, so you aren't doing much of anything. Iunno. Boo to frenemies. |
Anonymous
Huh? This is not a friend. How is she finding "new ways" to harass you if you've blocked her from everything? Just ignore her. |
Anonymous
| A good lesson for pregnancy, parenthood, and life in general: you can not control other people. You can only control your reaction to other people. Practice some deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, whatever. And simply IGNORE this person. |
dancingsunflowers06
Member Offline
Member Offline
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I totally understand where you are coming from and it's good that you recognize the strain...it can be hard to remove that stressor though! I've been in your shoes and we had to cut ties with friends who were draining and brought negativity into our lives and most importantly, into the lives of our children. The friends made it very hard on us, but then it confirmed why we were doing it. Hang in there and find support in the friends who bring joy and REAL friendship into your life. Praying for ya,
mommato2lilmonkeys |
Anonymous
| Cut her out asap. You have to do what is right for you and your baby and that should be your top priority. No friend is worth the sacrifice if you get complications from your pregnancy. I have a high risk pregnancy a while back and know how important it is to keep yourself calm and healthy, you and your baby will suffer if you do not take action now and cut all the stress. |
Anonymous
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If I had a friend in your situation, I would never treat her the way she's treating you. She sounds toxic and her behavior should be enough to demonstrate that she has no place in your life. I would tell her that you're taking a break from the friendship and ask that she not contact you.
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Anonymous
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Low-key people don't have "friends" like this, OP. Admit that you enjoy drama. I'm low-key and can't imagine associating with a person like the one you describe. We just wouldn't have become friends in the first place.
If you've blocked her from everything (which is clearly bullshit, given your OP wherein you admit to talking to her on the phone) and she's stalking you, file for a restraining order. Since you clearly haven't blocked her, though: block her number on your phone, block her on FB, set up a filter so her emails get instantly sent into the trash. Ghost her. |